Are You A Jealous Person? 9 Ways To Beat The Green-Eyed Monster

No matter who you are, where you’re from or what you do, there’s always going to be someone who has more than you, just as there’ll be plenty of people who have less than you. While jealousy is a natural emotion, it’s an undeniably destructive one. Instead of being jealous of someone else and what they have, you can make the conscious decision to turn that into motivation to get what you want out of life. After all, you’ll never achieve anything if you waste all of your energy huffing and puffing and looking at everyone else’s accomplishments instead of focusing on your own. So how can you stop jealousy in its tracks? I’m here to help.

  1. Stop looking to others. Ever hear the expression, “Stay in your lane”? If you’re always comparing yourself to others, you aren’t focusing on yourself, and it will never make you happy. Sure, it may seem like your co-worker, friend from high school, or female power player you see at Starbucks every morning have it all, but they don’t. Focus on yourself – it’s the only way you’ll accomplish the things on your life’s to-do list.
  2. Start appreciating what you do have. We’re all guilty of taking things for granted. But whether it’s health, a stable income or incredible friends, you need to stop whining and take stock of your life. When you realize all of the incredible things you have going on, you’re more likely to be content, and less likely to covet what others have.
  3. Realize that no one else’s success will prevent or take away from yours. There’s room for everyone to succeed. It can be hard to remember that the accomplishments of others don’t prevent you from also kicking ass in whatever you endeavor. Keep working towards whatever your goal is and remember that knowing people towards the top of the hierarchy can only help your chances of getting what you want or helping you create that job.
  4. Accept that everyone’s path looks different. If you emulate someone else’s exact path, you’ll likely be dubbed a stalker, and more importantly, you most likely won’t have the same result. Your path to success or achieving a goal will be your own, and if you mimic someone else’s, it won’t necessarily lead you to the finish line.
  5. Embrace your uniqueness. Everyone jokes that the term “Basic Bitch” is part of society’s vernacular now, but do you know what a Basic Bitch really is? It’s someone who tries to follow someone else who was a trailblazer and is insecure or afraid to follow the beat of her own drum. Once you embrace your quirks and eccentricities, you’ll start being recognized for them.
  6. Get out of your comfort zone. Most of the time, the people we’re jealous of are the people who took risks to get what they wanted. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. If you want new results, you need to try new tactics, even if they’re scary.
  7. Stop fooling yourself into thinking everyone else is happier than you. It may look like everyone you know is living the fabulous life on social media, but that’s because people only post their greatest hits. They certainly aren’t going to post a photo of themselves curled up in the fetal position, sipping a bottle of vodka with tears streaming down their face, if they’re going through a breakup or a rough time. The image people project to the world rarely, if ever, matches what’s actually going on with them. Keep that in mind before you decide your life sucks in comparison to theirs.
  8. Know that timing is everything. The sad and comforting fact of life is that timing is everything when it comes to making something work. An experience that happens even days sooner or later than it does likely would have had a much different result – that’s just how the universe works. Sometimes, things are just out of your control. While that’s daunting and seems unfair, the sooner you realize that, the easier it will be to let go and allow things to fall into place.
  9. Face the facts: Jealously literally leads you nowhere. Jealousy is detrimental to one person and one person only: YOU. In fact, that negative energy will lead you further away from what you want than closer to it. It often breeds anger and unhealthy behavior so while jealousy is a normal emotion, once you realize you’re feeling it, do your best to squash it so you can continue to do you and go after what you want.
Abby Stern grew up in New Orleans and is now an actress, screenwriter, and blogger (who isn't?) trying to keep it real in Los Angeles. She also writes for FabFitFun and contributes to various blogs detailing her unique perspective on dating and twenty-something life in Hollywood. Gwyneth Paltrow is her spirit animal and in her free time, Abby enjoys Bellinis and plotting to steal unattended Birkin bags. Follow her on Twitter: @abbystern