It’s one thing to be chill and go with the flow in life, but it’s entirely another to be so laid-back that you’re nearly horizontal. At that point, people start to take advantage of you and you end up being completely and utterly miserable. Here’s how you know you’re being way too passive and need to start asserting yourself way more.
1. You say yes to pretty much everything.
It’s like being on autopilot, nodding along to everything without a second thought. But here’s the thing – it’s totally okay not to agree with everything. If “yes” seems to be the only word on the tip of your tongue even when you’re screaming “no” inside, it’s time to make a change. Start practicing saying “no” when it’s needed — it might feel strange at first, but it’ll get easier with time.
2. You’re feeling resentful and you don’t know why.
That nagging feeling of resentment is a tell-tale sign that you’re not standing up for yourself. It’s like a silent protest from your inner self, a signal that it’s time to voice your needs and wants. Don’t let resentment build up — it’s unhealthy and unproductive. Speak your mind, and you might be surprised at how much lighter you feel.
3. You always put everyone else’s needs first.
Being considerate is great, but not at the expense of your own well-being. If you’re always on the backburner, constantly prioritizing others over yourself, it’s a clear signal you need to assert yourself more. Remember, it’s not selfish to take care of your own needs — it’s essential. You matter, and it’s important to treat yourself that way. (P.S. If this is a pattern you specifically get into in romantic relationships, you need our sister site, Sweetn. They have some game-changing tips, tricks, and tools that will totally change your love life.)
4. You feel like your opinions regularly go unheard.
Your opinions matter, and it’s important to make sure they’re heard. If you’re constantly overlooked or ignored, don’t just sit back and accept it – make your voice heard. Speak clearly, confidently, and assert your place in the conversation.
5. You always feel guilty about everything.
Guilt can be a heavy burden to bear, especially when you’re feeling guilty for expressing your own needs. It’s crucial to remember that saying ‘no’ is not a crime, and you have every right to prioritize yourself. If guilt is your constant companion, it’s a sign you need to be more assertive. Shake off that guilt and start standing up for yourself.
6. You feel anxious about confrontation.
It’s natural to feel a little anxious about confrontation, but if it’s holding you back from expressing your thoughts, it’s a problem. It’s time to face those fears and start advocating for yourself. Remember, confrontation isn’t always a bad thing – it can lead to understanding, compromise, and better relationships.
7. You apologize for things you didn’t even do.
Apologies are important when you’re in the wrong, but not when you’re constantly saying sorry for things that aren’t your fault. If you find yourself in a cycle of unwarranted apologies, it’s time to break free. You’re not always the one to blame, and it’s okay to stand your ground. Start owning your actions and stop apologizing for things you shouldn’t.
8. You feel pretty unfulfilled.
If your life feels like a series of unfulfilling events, it might be because you’re not speaking up for yourself. Assertiveness can make a major difference in how you feel about your life. It can open doors to new opportunities, help you meet your needs, and lead to a more satisfying life. Speak up, make your needs known, and watch how things change.
9. You’re a bit of a people-pleaser.
Keeping everyone happy seems like a noble goal, but not when it costs your happiness. If you’re always bending over backward to please others, it’s time to assert yourself. You deserve to be happy and content as much as anyone else. Start prioritizing your own needs and see how it changes your perspective and your life.
10. Your self-esteem is taking a hit lately.
Remember, your self-worth isn’t determined by anyone else’s opinions or perceptions of you. If your self-esteem is on a downward spiral, it’s a sign you need to be more assertive. Stand tall, value your worth, and don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are. The sooner you recognize just how amazing you are, the sooner you’ll start to feel more confident and self-assured.
11. You’re terrible at setting boundaries.
Boundaries are crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and self-respect. If your life feels like a free-for-all where everyone can do whatever they want without even considering how it affects you, it’s time to take control. Start setting clear boundaries and stick to them. It can be a game-changer for your personal and professional life. Remember, your boundaries are important, and it’s okay to enforce them.
12. You feel stressed 99% of the time.
Stress is often a sign that something needs to change. If you’re feeling overwhelmed all the time, it’s a sign that you need to assert yourself more. Start by identifying what’s causing your stress and then take steps to address those issues. You don’t have to be a helpless bystander in your own life — you have control.
13. You tend to feel invisible invisible in group settings.
Ever feel like you’re part of the wallpaper when you’re in a group? If you often feel overlooked or ignored in group settings, it’s time to make a change. You have a right to be seen and heard. Start voicing your ideas and opinions more confidently, and don’t let the crowd drown you out.
14. You’re often indecisive.
Relying on others to make decisions for you can strip you of your power and autonomy. Trust in your ability to make sound decisions. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes – they’re stepping stones to learning and growth. Embrace your ability to choose, and start making decisions that align with your values and goals.
15. You don’t feel in control of your life.
Feeling like you’re in the backseat of your own life can be disconcerting and disempowering. If you feel like your life is being led by someone else’s choices, it’s a clear sign that you need to take the reins. You have the right to control your own destiny. Start taking initiative, make decisions that reflect your desires, and reclaim your life. You’ll find it’s empowering to steer your own course.
16. You’re frequently unhappy with situations.
Finding yourself frequently upset with the way things are but doing nothing about it can lead to a cycle of dissatisfaction. Remember, you have the power and the right to change things that don’t sit well with you. It’s time to step up, voice your discontent, and facilitate changes that will lead to your happiness. A proactive approach can make a world of difference to your satisfaction levels.
17. You often feel taken for granted.
Feeling overlooked or underappreciated can be a tough pill to swallow. If you resonate with this, it’s time to assert your worth. Stand up for yourself and make it known that you won’t tolerate being taken for granted. You have the right to be treated with respect and to receive recognition for your contributions. It’s time to demand the respect you deserve and ensure your efforts are acknowledged.
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