We all know people who are negative and love to complain about everything, but while we might not think their negativity affects us, it definitely does in subtle ways. I didn’t realize the impact all the toxic people in my life had on me until I decided to literally block them from my life. Here’s what happened:
I Saw My Own Negativity.
During those periods when life seriously sucks, of course I’m negative as hell and I air my complaints loudly to anyone with ears. We all do it from time to time. However, realizing that I was doing it way more often the more I hung out with negative people only reaffirmed how important it was for me to remove them from my life and replace them with more glass-half-full folks.
I Became More Self-Aware.
I didn’t realize what it meant to be a negative person until I really started to observe other people. I paid close attention to what kinds of questions people asked me and what they did (i.e. if they listened to me) when I gave them answers. It wasn’t until I really observed my friends that I realized how few of them actually cared.
I Really Looked At The People Around Me.
I didn’t block everyone who’d ever said something negative—we’re all human, after all. However, I did block the people who continuously chose to bitch and moan for no reason. The “friends” who only pointed out my weakness and insecurities? Blocked. My co-workers who spent their free time mocking our boss? Blocked. My ex-boyfriend, who’d randomly text for no other reason but to make sure I didn’t stop thinking about him? Should have blocked him a long time ago.
I Removed The Toxicity From My Life.
When I say I “blocked” people from my life, I don’t mean I blocked them from all forms of social media, texting, and calling. That would be drama, and I didn’t want to make waves where water didn’t even exist. What I mean is that I blocked them from my personal psyche. I stopped spending so much time with them and I stopped prioritizing their needs over mine.
I Learned What My Definition Of “Negative” Was.
I think everyone has their own understanding of what it means to be “negative.” I figured out what mine was almost immediately: someone who’s too focused on your flaws to see your amazing traits. Friends are supposed to be support systems, and if they don’t see my strengths or care to comment on my achievements, what’s the point of them?
I Took Responsibility For My Life.
I chose the people I let in my life and for whatever reason, I chose to ignore the negative personalities some of them had—which, to be honest, was super easy to do. Negativity can mask itself as humor, sarcasm, and sassiness—three characteristics I used to look for in friends. Deep down, I knew those people weren’t good for me. It just took me a while to get to a place where I could walk away from them.
I Realized I Didn’t Have That Many Friends.
Once I removed the toxic people from my life, I realized I didn’t have that many true friends who actually cared about my well-being and vice versa. You’d be surprised by how many people are either secretly rooting against you or don’t care one way or the other if you get that promotion or pass that test. After taking a look at my friends, I found that I really only had a couple, and I value them even more now.
I Felt Way More Loved.
Finally knowing who my real friends were felt amazing. It was like I finally figured everything out. I could do anything and tell them anything because I knew they actually cared and respected whatever words would come out of my mouth.
I Spent More Time Alone.
I used to be the girl who went out all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I still do—I just usually go by myself these days, which is really nice. There was a time when I was afraid to show up to parties or go to a bar alone. Then I realized I’d basically been doing that for years anyway. Going out with negative people who didn’t care about my well-being was basically the same as going out alone. Actually, it was probably worse.
I Learned To Choose My Battles.
Realistically, I know that I can’t remove all the negativity from my life. Wherever I go, there will always be a crop of negative people around—we can’t be positive 24/7. However, I can choose which people to let into my life and which to stay away from because they’ll only bring me down.
I Figured Out What I Want.
Blocking the negative people made everything clearer. I can finally see where I want my life to go—and more importantly, the kind of people I want to go with me on the journey I learned how important it is to be observant and take people with a grain of salt. Not everyone is going to really care about me the way I want them to, and that’s okay. I have the strength now to walk away.
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