Are You Comfortable In Your Relationship Or Just Plain Lazy? Here’s How To Tell

Some people dread getting to a stage in their relationship where things aren’t exciting, but personally, I love it. Being comfortable as a couple is the best thing in the world… as long as it doesn’t lead to being lazy. Here’s how to tell what side of the line you’re on, and if you need to clean up your act.

  1. It’s natural for the Honeymoon phase to fade eventually. Being so in love that you can barely take your hands off each other is wonderful and romantic, but it was never going to last a lifetime (thank God for the people around you). Losing the initial lust that marks a new relationship is a sign that you’re settling down and becoming more comfortable with each other.
  2. There are plenty of ways to show you still care about each other. Okay, so you might not be as spontaneous as you were at the start, but there are plenty of ways to show you still care. Whether it’s leaving little love notes or going the extra mile to help them out, those everyday signs that you love someone are far more valuable than the grand gestures you get at the start of a relationship.
  3. Being comfortable is being able to be completely yourself. Being comfortable doesn’t mean slobbing about and making no effort—it just means losing the fear that comes with constantly having to impress in your relationship. When I’m truly happy in my relationship, I can be totally myself and not worry about what the other person will think.
  4. It was inevitable that you’d stop shaving at some point. Once I know my guy isn’t going to up and leave, it’s inevitable that I let the beauty regime slide slightly. Come on, shaving is a massive hassle, and it’s the privilege of the serious relationship to not have to bother with that crap. I know that a guy who truly loves me isn’t going to be checking the length of my stubble.
  5. Comfortable isn’t the same as complacent. There is a huge difference between being comfortable with someone and being complacent. If you’re complacent, you stop putting the effort in, and your idea of being comfortable is the fact that neither of you will ever be bothered to leave each other. Romantic.
  6. Can you imagine life without your significant other? A key way to tell if you’re complacent is the thought of life without your significant other. If the idea of losing them seems kind of meh, rather than a total disaster, you’re slipping into dangerous territory. You should be with someone because you actively want to, not because nothing better has come along.
  7. Are you with them because you love them or because it’s convenient? Is the effort of staying with your partner less than the effort of splitting up with them? Be honest, is that the main reason that you’re still in a relationship? Way more of us than we’d like to admit are still in relationships that have probably run their course, just because no one’s come along that’s made us want to be single. If your relationship has become one of convenience, it’s time to start rethinking.
  8. How often do you go out of your way for each other? When was the last time you did something spontaneously nice for your bf? If you can’t remember straight away, chances are it was too long ago. You don’t have to make grand gestures left, right, and center, but you need to still have the urge to treat that person like the most important person in your world. If you don’t care enough to do that, you’re too darn lazy for the relationship.
  9. How do you refer to them to other people? When talking about your relationship with others, are you describing it as a drag, a commitment that keeps taking time out of your social life? Or, are you excited to share your relationship with other people, maybe worried that you’re talking about it too much? How you view your relationship when not with your other half is a telling way to see what you really feel about it. Your boyfriend deserves to be with someone who loves and respects him, and if that’s not you anymore, it’s time to let them go.
  10. Are you truly content where you are, or too damn lazy to make a change? Being comfortable and content in a relationship is the best place to be. You can relax and be yourself, and still be loved for it—total win, right? That’s why, if you’re not feeling things anymore, it’s so important to admit it and move on. You’ll never find that person that makes you truly content if you’re still attached to someone you’re too lazy to leave. Sometimes we need to make a bold move to open up chances in our future. Is now the time for you?
Isobel is a freelance blogger and writer for hire specialising in content for millennials who haven't quite got it together yet (i.e. herself). When not glued to her laptop, she enjoys eating cheese, doing yoga and spending time with family and friends.