Are You Constantly Friend-Zoned? 10 Possible Reasons You’re Seen As One Of The Guys

It’s either every girl’s dream, or every girl’s nightmare: guys just stopped being interested in dating you. If you’ve had your fair share of breakups and BS relationships, and have declared all men to be pigs, this is your dream. But if you’re still looking for love, then it completely sucks. Guys suddenly just stopped asking for your number and hitting on you. Why has this happened?

  1. You’re just too cool, smart or independent.You’re too cool for school, to quote Zoolander. And that can be intimidating to some guys. It might make them uncomfortable knowing that you know more about NASCAR, Black Sabbath, and economics than they do, and you run your own start-up. Of course, any guy who gets uncomfortable around a smart girl is probably a loser to begin with, but hey, just giving you a reason for why they’re not lining up. Of course, they probably still might want to pick your brain.
  2. You’re too fun as a friend. If you already hang out with a lot of guy friends, and regularly have a blast, they may not want to ruin the great relationship you already have. Dating friends tends to change things, and breaking up could mean abandoning the friendship altogether. They could just be too afraid to lose you, so they’d rather stay friends than take a risk.
  3. You’re off-limits.Maybe your dad is really scary, or your brother is a six-foot tall marine. Guys don’t want to approach you if they fear for their lives. If there’s someone who’s being overprotective of you, guys are going to see you as being off-limits and won’t bother asking you out.
  4. You’re too needy or clingy. Guys like their space. If they see you as being a difficult person to be in a relationship with, they’re going to steer clear. No guy wants to be tied down and give you status updates every ten minutes, so if you start exhibiting needy behavior, they’re not going to be interested in pursuing a relationship.
  5. You’re unstable. If within the first few minutes of talking to someone, you reveal signs of being unstable or a little bit nuts, guys are going to notice that and decide you’re too much of a risk. Maybe you’re just really open about your life, but you need to learn that you can’t just dump a ton of crap on someone you just met. Let them get to know you a bit before telling them about your struggles so you don’t overwhelm them and scare them away.
  6. You remind them of their mothers.Or their exes, or sisters, or really anyone they don’t want to see in their bed. That could mean you either act like someone they know, you look like them, or you have the same name as them. This isn’t really your fault though, so don’t take it personally.
  7. You’re simply not their type. Some guys probably could care less about what comes out of your mouth, as long as you’re hot, but others actually are looking for an emotional or intellectual connection. After talking to you for a few moments, maybe they’ve determined you’re not their type and you have nothing in common, or you’re just plain uninteresting.
  8. You give off the wrong vibes. To be blunt, maybe you’re coming off as a lesbian? If a guy thinks that, he’s not going to bother asking you out.
  9. They think you’re taken. If you’re always hanging out with one guy friend, other guys could assume that’s your boyfriend, and you’re therefore unavailable. Look at your friendships and see if you act like a couple, because this could be the reason why no one is approaching you.
  10. You’re hanging out with guys who are too afraid to ask.Nice guys, or guys who are inexperienced or shy around women, aren’t going to immediately ask you out. They probably don’t know how, so instead, they let you essentially friend-zone them first, and then never get around to asking you out. What a cruel world this is when people friend-zone each other.
Chelsey is a freelance writer in NYC. She's pretty normal by today's standards, or at least that's what her mother tells her.