Are You Dating A Shady Guy? A Sincere Guy Reveals The Signs

Ladies, is there anything worse than trying to form a genuine connection with a guy only to find out that he’s a shady character who’s hiding things and keeping secrets? The problem is that shady dudes tend to be good at concealing things and convincing you that they’re decent. Well, take it from a guy who has the sincerest of intentions—here are some signs that the guy you’re dating is shady and untrustworthy.

  1. He tells white lies. By definition, white lies are harmless, but do people need to tell them? Anybody who’s willing to tell white lies is surely capable of telling much bigger lies. If you catch him fibbing about something small, there could be bigger lies he’s told that you don’t realize. To be fair, this isn’t the worst thing in the world because we all do it from time to time, but it’s one possible sign of a shady character.
  2. You never know where he is. Is he a government spy who can’t disclose his whereabouts for reasons of national security? Didn’t think so. In that case, there’s no reason for him not to tell you where he is, especially if you ask him directly. If you have trouble locating him, there’s a decent chance he’s doing something shady behind the scenes. Guys like this are good at ducking direct questions or giving non-specific answers, and there’s usually a sketchy reason for their incomplete answers.
  3. He doesn’t say your name. Beyonce may have put it best when she said: “Say my name, say my name, you acting kinda shady, ain’t calling me baby.” In other words, shady guys always try to avoid saying a woman’s name. They’re always looking for new girls and often can’t keep their names straight, so they use “baby” or “sweetiepie” or something else. This way, they don’t risk calling you by the wrong name.
  4. He’s too complimentary. Yes, we all love getting compliments, but a guy that gives too many could be a little up to no good. It could be a way for him to overcompensate and hide his shady behavior. It’s particularly troubling when he’s way too complimentary too soon. I mean, how could he possibly know that you’re his “dream girl” when he hasn’t gotten to know you? While you might like it, if you get too many compliments from a guy, he’s probably up to no good.
  5. He’s never been monogamous before. You have to see this as a red flag, right? Unless a guy is fresh out of college, there’s no viable reason for never being in a monogamous relationship before. He could also be lying about never being monogamous and follow it up by saying that he’s “never met anyone like you before.” These are no different than white lies or compliments. Essentially, a guy is saying what he thinks you want to hear because he’s a shady dude with less than honorable intentions.
  6. He dodges personal questions. It’s amazing how much fun you can have with a person without learning that much about them. Shady guys have mastered this technique. They have funny anecdotes that will entertain you but they will always try to dodge personal questions. If you notice a guy going out of his way to avoid answering a personal question, he’s probably playing games and trying to hide something.
  7. Your dates aren’t in public. Going out usually avoids going out, right? Well, guys who are seeing other people you don’t know about or are hiding something more cynical will always avoid dates in public places. They’ll do Netflix and chill or take you to the movies on a weeknight when nobody will be there. In this case, it’s a public place that he knows won’t be crowded. If getting a guy to take your relationship out into the public is a struggle, something shady might be going on behind the scenes.
  8. His friends aren’t excited to meet you. Your friends are usually excited to meet a new boyfriend, right? Well, if he actually introduces you to his friends and they’re not thrilled to finally put a face to a name since yours comes up so often, there’s something fishy going on. Odds are they’ve done this song and dance many times before. They know the guy isn’t serious and the relationship is going nowhere.
  9. He doesn’t make plans. There are few professions that force people to be so busy that they can’t make plans ahead of time. Therefore, most guys who don’t like making plans ahead of time are shady. They will try to rationalize it any way they can, but the truth is that they’re keeping something from you. If you try to make plans a few days ahead of time and he doesn’t have a specific excuse for not being on board, he’s probably a shady character.
  10. He never leaves his phone unattended. This is Shady Guy 101, but it’s worth repeating. Look, we’re all entitled to a little privacy when it comes to our phones, but if he doesn’t trust you to respect his privacy, he’s doing something shady. He should trust that you won’t look at his phone even if he leaves it out in the open, right? One of the few explanations is that there’s stuff on there he doesn’t want you to see. That’s more or less the definition of a shady character.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.