Are You Holding Yourself Back From Finding Love?

Do you constantly find yourself asking, “Why am I still single?” Your life is in order, your career is taking off – everything has fallen into place except that perfect partner. If you’re tired of questioning why nothing has worked before, it’s time to know if you’re holding yourself back from love (and what to do about it).

  1. You’re afraid of rejection/getting hurt. Dating brings up a lot of uncomfortable feelings. It requires you to be vulnerable, which can be terrifying. Your fear of rejection lingers at the forefront, preventing you from getting out there. You don’t have to tell everyone you meet your life story. Instead, find someone who makes you comfortable. This way, opening up won’t feel like you’re hanging yourself out to dry.
  2. You’re indecisive. When asked the dreaded question of what you look for in a partner, you stutter. You’re suddenly at a loss for words. Then you list off what you don’t want. If you only focus on the negatives, you’ll end up avoiding almost everyone. Pick a few adjectives (ambitious, funny, polite, etc.) and let people know this is what you want.
  3. You’re hung up on your ex. Do you always opt to be friends with those you once had a relationship with? The upkeep of being friendly with past flames requires a lot of focus – focus that’s not on yourself or finding love. It’s time to leave the past where it belongs: behind you. Once you let go of these previous relationships, you can concentrate on your future.
  4. You let minor details kill the chemistry. When someone with potential comes around, you let minute details ruin your chemistry. Their political views don’t exactly line up with yours, their favorite color is ugly, or they aren’t tall enough. While some physical aspects can’t be altered, views, opinions, and preferences can. Don’t let little things get in the way of something great.
  5. You’re sus of potential partners. Did that cute person reach out to you? While you’re thrilled, you can’t help but be suspicious. You automatically assume the worst. That their intent is anything but genuine. Next time someone reaches out or shows interest, don’t overthink it–your instincts will let you know if something’s amiss.
  6. You always have excuses. Dating is full of unknowns. That fear has you listing off excuses like it’s your business. If you don’t take chances, you’ll never know what’s around the corner. Whether it’s online or in-person, get out there! Don’t reject opportunities to have fun.
  7. It’s always casual. Your fear of commitment prevents you from taking it to the next level. You go out of your way to let them know it’s solely casual. When they’re ready to make the next move, you shut down. Before you know it, they’re out the door because they don’t know where you two stand.
  8. The past interferes with your present. At one time or another, we’ve all been hurt by love. The scars we carry often deter us from seeking affection again. It’s necessary to understand things are different now, you’re different. The past won’t repeat itself if you don’t let it.
  9. You don’t want to take it to the next level. The initial stages of dating can feel like a fairytale. Kisses are deeper, your flirting game is strong, and the sensation of butterflies in your stomach lasts longer. But after that, you begin to think where this is all headed. You can’t predict the future and you shouldn’t try to. Let things blossom naturally.
  10. You ignore red flags. Sometimes, we want a relationship so bad that we don’t care who it’s with. You’re not worried about how they are or how they treat you, just that you’re involved. This doesn’t set healthy boundaries. Aim to be in a relationship where your wants and needs are satisfied.
  11. You’re endlessly waiting. Maybe you’re waiting until you lose weight. Or when you have a better apartment. Whatever it is, you can’t let it stop you from dating. Live in the present! People won’t judge you for what you don’t have. And if they do, well, they’re not the one for you.
  12. You’re insecure about your appearance. Confidence is a sexy trait. You should wield it with pride, no matter how you think you look. You can’t let your body shape prevent you from meeting others. You may think you don’t look great, but others do. Don’t think you’re not up to anyone’s standards.
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