Relationships are supposed to be give and take, and not a power struggle. The efforts to keep what you both have going strong should be equal most of the time, but sometimes, without realizing it, you might end up all alone in your relationship. Here are some tell-tale signs that suggest your partner is not contributing their fair share to the relationship and things are getting a bit one-sided.
They almost never show up for you. Do you constantly make plans with your partner only for them to cancel at the last minute? Do you find it hard to hang out with them because they’re always rescheduling or flaking on dates? Do you feel like they’re never there for you when you need them even though you always trying to meet their needs? If you find yourself in these situations, chances are you’re more invested in the relationship than they are.
You constantly feel less than enough. You spend your days and nights doing everything in your power to please your partner, but somehow you always come up short. Everything you do seems like water down the drain so you start to wonder whether the problem is you. Maybe you’re just not good enough to deserve their love and attention? Maybe if you changed a little, they’ll treat you better? If you keep questioning your partner’s feelings for you or plotting how to keep them interested, that’s a huge red flag.
Time spent with your partner leaves you feeling empty. Think about how felt the last few times you hung out with your partner. Were you refreshed or drained by that interaction? Did you feel a little resentment towards them for not putting in the effort to make your time together more fulfilling? Did you feel lonely and far away from them emotionally after they left? Were you stressed the whole time because they weren’t engaging and you worried that you did something to annoy them? Feeling dissatisfied after seeing your partner can mean your relationship is one-sided.
You apologize for everything, even their own mistakes. If your partner is indifferent to your feelings, you may end up apologizing more than you need to just to put an end to disagreements. You may apologize even when you’re not wrong. You may even find yourself apologizing for your feelings or for sharing your concerns about the relationship. Things like this indicate that you’re being gaslighted or dismissing your feelings to keep your partner happy. Resolving disputes in a relationship should never be your responsibility alone.
Planning dates and romance is your sole responsibility. In one-sided relationships, one partner often does all the work. Whether it’s little romantic gestures, making arrangements for trips, planning dates, checking in, or initiating sex, you’re the only one taking the lead. You might suspect that if you stopped doing these things, your partner wouldn’t notice or even care. And when you talk to them about it, they make up a silly excuse or make it seem as though what you’re doing is not a big deal.
Your partner’s schedule is the most important thing. Somewhere along the line, your relationship became about what your partner wants. Their calendar is the only thing that matters so making compromises has become your j0b. You’re the one who has to change your schedule to fit theirs. They have the final say on what you’re going to do, when you’re doing it, and where you’re going. Your wants have become suggestions that can be easily dismissed.
They pretend there are no problems with the relationship. If you’re the one always bringing up concerns about the relationship while your partner tends to avoid this conversation, that might be a sign that your relationship is unbalanced. Your partner is happy to ignore all the issues or do nothing while you attempt to fix them on your own. They may even get defensive when you broach the subject because the current state of the relationship benefits them and they don’t want to change that.
Your partner accuses you of wanting too much. Wanting to meet your partner’s friends and family after you’ve been going out f0r a while is not too much. Wanting to spend a reasonable amount of time together is not too much. Asking to be invited when they go out to do fun things is not too much. Wanting to talk about where the relationship is headed and what you can both do to make things better is not too much. If your partner thinks otherwise, that just means they’re less committed to the relationship than you are.
They hardly ever initiate communication. I get it, not everyone likes texting or talking on the phone a lot. So it’s fine if you have to take the lead in that as long as your partner responds eagerly and enthusiastically when you do. But if they never call or text, don’t answer your phone calls or messages, and still have a hard time making face-to-face plans to talk, you may be in a one-sided relationship.
You don’t feel loved or cared for. If your relationship is unbalanced, you may feel like your partner is only using you to pass the time until someone better comes along. You may feel like they’re just with you because it’s convenient, not because they actually love you. Someone who truly loves and cares for you will make sure you know it, not just by words, but through their actions.
They don’t make an effort to fix your concerns. When your partner makes a complaint or says they don’t like something that you do, you address your behavior right away. But when you share your concerns, they just listen but they never change no matter how many times you bring it up. This could be a sign that the relationship doesn’t mean as much to them as it does to you.