Are You Lazy In Love? Signs You’re Not Putting In The Effort To Meet Guys

Finding love takes effort, and that can be hard to muster up regularly if you’re a naturally laid-back person who wants love to be easy. However, if you wish you were in a relationship but are exhibiting these lazy behaviors, it might be time to address your behavior and switch it up so you actually stand a chance of finding someone.

  1. Your dating plan mostly consists of swiping through apps from the comfort of your couch. You might tell everyone you meet that you’re sick of being single and that it’s impossible to find good guys, but you can’t really find them if you’re not actually looking, can you? Swiping through dating apps for hours at a time while you lay on your couch eating Doritos is fun sometimes and a nice break from actually “putting yourself out there,” but if this is your only go at looking for love, you’re being a bit lazy, don’t you think?
  2. When you do go out, you don’t make an effort to look your best. Should guys be into you regardless of what you look like or what you’re wearing? Obviously. Are they? Nope, at least not straight away, and there’s no use in pretending otherwise. Men are visual creatures and your physical appearance will be their primary mode of attraction. It’s cool to be a bit lazy and hang around in your scruffs once you’re together in an established relationship and he gets to know all the non-physical stuff that makes you hot. However, when you’re first looking for love, you’re going to have to spruce things up a bit. This doesn’t necessarily mean heels and a mini-skirt. Just make sure to brush your hair and wear something that makes you feel confident.
  3. You flake out on dates at the last minute because you can’t be bothered. You finally plan a date with a guy you met online who seems promising, but when Saturday night rolls around, you’d rather watch Dateline in your sweatpants than spend an evening with someone you don’t really know and probably end up disappointed. How do you know what could happen if you don’t actually show up?
  4. When you do show up, you often turn up late. When you can find the motivation to get out there and actually meet the guy you made plans with, you often turn up late, which is one of the most annoying things ever. It basically shows him right away that you don’t respect his time and that you were too lazy to make an effort to show up when you said you would. How do you ever expect to find love with that approach?
  5. You let conversations fizzle out instead of keeping them going. Say you match with a great guy on a dating app and you start talking. Things are going great, but you can’t meet up just yet because he’s out of town for work or visiting family or vice versa, so you’ll have to settle for texting for now. That works… until it doesn’t. If you let conversations fizzle with a guy you’re interested in because you expect him to do all the work, you’re going to end up lonely and alone. That’s not what you want, is it?  Being lazy in love means you’ll never find it. Do better.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia
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