When it comes to parenting, there’s most likely never going to be a time when you feel completely ready on all fronts. Personally, I’ve found that being a mom often means figuring things out as they happen, even though I assumed that I’d automatically have the answers to every problem. If you’re considering having a child and aren’t sure whether you’re really ready or not, here are some signs you’re up to the challenge.
- You stay calm in stressful situations. Are you able to deal with problems that arise on a daily basis rationally instead of freaking out about them? This is a sign that you are ready to be a mom. Being able to handle issues that you’re unprepared for while staying calm is vital to parenting. When you have a child, there will inevitably be a time when your baby is sick, hurt, or even just crying uncontrollably, and while you may be nervous and worried, being able to deal with the situation without getting flustered will make it easier for you to focus on a solution as well as soothe your child.
- You’re able to recognize and feel your emotions without letting them control you. Children are highly sensitive and can easily feel the emotions and moods of other people just from the vibe that they give off. Of course, being a mom doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to feel emotions or should avoid them, but if you’re unable to process them in a healthy, mature way, you should wait to have a baby.
- You’re over being impulsive and ready to settle down into a routine. I’m not saying that you have to give up all spontaneity, but once you have a baby, being impulsive will be challenging if not downright impossible. Having a schedule of some sort is probably going to be your best bet because getting a baby ready for anything takes time, effort, and planning. You’ll also figure out what time is the best for your child’s nap so that they will be rested but still able to sleep at night, and what time they need to eat lunch by in order to avoid a meltdown. These things will be something you’ll consider before going out shopping or meeting a friend for coffee. Most importantly, routines are comforting and beneficial to children, so if you’re ready to incorporate stability and routine into your life, that’s a sign you’re ready to be a mom.
- It doesn’t bother you to put other people first. When you become a mom, your needs and wants have to take a backseat to your child’s, and if you’re not ready and willing to do that, you’ll become resentful and unhappy. If you already are considerate of other people and don’t mind putting them first, it’s definitely an indication you’re ready for a child.
- You don’t get FOMO. Do you feel left out if you’re unable to make it to a girls night out? Do you constantly feel the need to attend every party or go to every concert? If you answered yes, you might want to wait before becoming a mom. Once you have a baby, you won’t be able to go to everything you’re invited to, so if you’re the type that doesn’t feel the need to attend every social event, this is a step in the right direction.
- You don’t need a lot of “me time.” Once you have a child, any and all “me time” goes right out the window. Even when your baby naps or goes to sleep for the night, you’ll most likely want to stay productive during that time because it’ll be a lot more challenging to do things like organize your closet, cook a meal, or take a shower when you become a mom, especially if you’re doing it on your own. Everyone deserves time to relax, unwind and have “me time” — yes, even moms!— but if you’re someone who thrives off of consistent, regularly scheduled time to yourself, you might not be ready to be a mom.
- You’re at least somewhat financially secure and can provide a safe home for your baby. You don’t have to be extremely wealthy or have your career completely figured out to be ready to be a mom, but you should be in a good spot financially and be able to provide a safe, stable environment for your child to grow up in. Wealth can never substitute love and attention, but being responsible with your money and home life is vital to being a parent.
- Your reasons for having a child have nothing to do with fixing a relationship. I’m not saying that to be a good mom, you need to be in a traditional relationship. However, if you’re in an unhealthy and/or unhappy relationship and are hoping that a baby might be a solution, you’re not only bringing a baby into a less than ideal situation but you definitely won’t get the results you’re hoping for.
- You’re happy with your life at the present moment. More than anything else, a baby needs a happy mom. Your mental health will make a huge impact on your child, even if you make a conscious effort to keep them separate. A baby will bring you happiness and love, but if you aren’t happy before you have a child, it’s not going to magically change when you do have one. If you’re feeling lonely or depressed, a baby won’t be able to fix those things, and he or she shouldn’t be expected to.