Are You Really “Low Maintenance” Or Do You Have Low Self-Esteem?

You might consider yourself to be laid-back or “chill,” and while that might legitimately be the case, it’s also possible that you’re hiding behind the low maintenance label to disguise a very real problem: low self-esteem.

  1. You let people get away with unacceptable behavior. There’s a difference between choosing your battles when it comes to your personal relationships and completely overlooking toxic, unacceptable behavior from the people in your life under the guise of being “low maintenance.” If you regularly find yourself excusing, justifying, or outright ignoring people treating you like crap, you’re not chill, you’re lacking self-worth.
  2. You don’t deal with your feelings, you bottle them up. If it seems like nothing bothers you, you have to wonder if that’s really the case or if you’re compartmentalizing your emotions to avoid dealing with them. After all, confronting tough stuff might upset your cool girl exterior and you wouldn’t want that.
  3. You stay in relationships you know are all wrong for you. You claim that your relationship with your partner is totally fine and that you’re not bothered by all the glaring issues because hey, what relationship is perfect? It’s true that there’s no such thing as the perfect relationship, but it’s also true that people with low self-esteem tend to put up with more than they should for fear of being alone/being dumped/etc.
  4. You can’t remember the last time you bought new clothes. Sure, you don’t need to dress like a model to have high self-esteem, but there’s a difference between “I’m comfier in my jeans and t-shirt” and “I’ll never look good in any of those clothes anyway, so why bother?” If you can’t remember the last time you bought an outfit that makes you look and feel hot as hell, there may be an issue there.
  5. You’re not striving to reach any goals. You go to work every day and pay your bills on time, but there are no big dreams or goals you’re working towards achieving. It might be true that you’re content just where you are, and that’s fine, but if you’re honest with yourself, could it be that you’re afraid to try just in case you fail? Lacking faith in yourself and your abilities is no good, and it indicates a serious lack of self-esteem.
  6. You don’t feel all that chill. Sure, you say that you’re low maintenance, chill, laid-back, whatever, but you don’t really feel that way inside. In fact, you regularly feel anxious, unsettled, and generally blah. Maybe it’s time to stop clinging to your cool girl persona and start confronting what’s behind it all. After all, you’re amazing and you deserve the best. Don’t settle for less just because you think you don’t deserve it. You do.
Piper is a NYC-based writer who loves dogs, iced coffee, and calling people out on their BS.