Are You Rushing Into Things With Him? 11 Signs You Need to Slow Down

It’s tempting to want to throw caution to the wind and race into a hot new relationship. Why wait? Life is short! Well, the truth is that if you rush too much, you could make your relationship even shorter! Here are signs you need to stop for a breath. After all, if it’s truly meant to be, your new guy isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

  1. You’re feeling uncomfortable. Yes, you like the guy and you want to be with him, but you just feel that you can’t be your true self. It’s like you’re still trying to find your feet and process what’s going on, and you should be taking the time to do that. Developing that complete and total comfort with someone takes time. You can’t rush it.
  2. You’ve got verbal diarrhea. You sometimes feel like you’re telling him TMI but you just can’t stop. You’ve told him all about your career dreams, childhood, and even all your dirty little secrets… and yet you’ve only been dating for two weeks. Slow down a bit so you can cultivate a bit of mystery.
  3. You’ve jumped into the sack already. If you’ve only been on one or two dates and you’ve already had sex, there’s no shame in that. BUT, if you want to have a real relationship that’s serious and committed, it sure helps to know that he wants the same things before you jump into bed. Otherwise, you have to backtrack once you’re dressed in your clothes again and it can make things weird.
  4. You’ve called him your boyfriend. You’ve only been dating for a short while, yet you called him your boyfriend. Um, yikes! Not only does this give him the impression that you’re chasing him for a relationship but it can make you guys exclusive when you don’t even know each other. That’s a recipe for disaster.
  5. You’re surprised by him. You thought you knew him, but then you find out that he’s considering taking a full-time gig in another state or that he has a sibling you knew nothing about. What the hell? It can feel weird and this is a sign that you guys haven’t really taken the time to get to know each other.
  6. You’re blocking out those red flags. This is a clear sign you’ve rushed into the relationship. You want it to work at all costs, even if that means ignoring deal-breakers. What’s the point? You’re going to have to deal with them sooner or later.
  7. You’re dating a different version of him. The problem with rushing into a relationship with someone new is that you don’t really know what they’re really like. The result is that you’re basically dating the idea of them in your head. See how this can get messy really fast?
  8. You’ve already changed your life for him. Maybe you’ve taken up a new hobby that you guys can do together or you’re changing what you want for your future because you guys hit it off so well. If you’re guilty of this, try to mentally take a step back because you shouldn’t be changing or making the relationship the center of your world, especially if it’s still early days.
  9. You’re stressing out. When you’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, you should be feeling like all’s good with the world. It’s like you’re on a natural high. If that’s not happening and instead you’re already stressing or obsessing about the relationship, you’re rushing in too fast emotionally and could end up sabotaging things.
  10. You’re trusting them with your heart. Without trust, your relationship isn’t real, but trust is earned. You and your partner have to show each other that you’re both trustworthy and worthy of each other’s love. If you’re blindly trusting him even though you don’t know him, you might as well blindfold yourself and walk into traffic. You’re bound to get hurt.
  11. You know it seems crazy. If your BFF told you she was already moving in with a guy she met last week or that she’s found “The One” even though they’ve only gone on two dates, chances are you’d tell her to slow down and maybe even get her head checked. So don’t be surprised if your closest friends are warning you that you’re rushing into something. Think about how you look to them from the outside so you gain some perspective.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.