Are You Selective About Men Or Just Too Picky?

Being selective is more than necessary when choosing suitable dudes to date, but there’s a fine line between being selective and being downright impossibly choosy. The real difference is whether you are reasonably looking for your perfect match or whether you’re self sabotaging by making the odds of finding him a total zero. Here’s how you know that you’re tipping towards the impossible side.

  1. You only like unavailable men. If the only men you’re attracted to are off the market, you might just be setting yourself up for failure. It’s easy to like someone you know can’t actually get close enough to hurt you.
  2. You have a set height guys must meet. We all have types, but avoiding perfectly great men because they’re an inch shorter than you’d prefer is picky, not selective.
  3. You turn down every guy that acts interested. Okay, most of them won’t be right for you, that’s true. But how do you know if you can’t take the time to get to know anyone?
  4. You have strict age limits. Many people tend to date within their own age range, but then again, age gaps can work in either direction. Saying you would never date a certain age could be retracted in an instant when you meet the right person.
  5. You get freaked out by random things and bolt. You were totally into that guy until he mentioned that he hates peanut butter, because what kind of a weirdo hates peanut butter?
  6. You have regrets about guys you have rejected. Ever have a huge no for a guy and then see him with someone else and realize that you might have been a bit hasty?
  7. You’re looking for a fairytale straight out of the movies. Every girl deserves romance, but it’s probably not going to come in the form of a knight in shining armor doused in fairy dust.
  8. You won’t date outside of your town. Logistically this can get tricky, and not everyone is cut out for long distance. But what if this guy lives a jet setting lifestyle and is in town every weekend anyway.
  9. You’ll ditch a guy over his poor shirt choice. Cringe worthy style can be, well, cringe worthy, but ultimately it’s probably not the deal breaker you think it is. Maybe he just needs the input of a fashionable lady like yourself.
  10. You have tons of celebrity crushes but no real ones. You probably don’t get the chance every day to go after your celebrity crush, so like the rest of the unavailable men, he’s appealing because he’s not really in your world.
  11. You whine about wanting a date but refuse to use dating sites. No one would deny that online dating can be time consuming and totally weird, but if you really want to shake things up, what’s the harm?
  12. You made a relationship checklist and you’re sticking to it. Generally guidelines are great but that imaginary boyfriend you thought up seven years ago might not be the best prototype these days.
  13. You’re worried about other people’s opinions. People who love you want you to be happy, not find the single perfect person that doesn’t exist to prove that you’re worthy.
  14. Everyone says you’re too picky. Our friends and family certainly don’t know everything, but they are pretty good at calling us out on things we don’t want to hear.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog