Are You Staying With Him For All The Wrong Reasons?

Trying to make it work when times get tough is a great quality and shows that you’re dedicated to your relationship, but that’s only if the relationship is still healthy and going somewhere. Sometimes things come to a natural end and we hold on for way too long, even when we’d be better off letting go. How do you tell the difference? Here are some signs you might be staying with him for all the wrong reasons.

  1. You’re not feeling it, but you don’t want to hurt him. You care about him so much that you would rather protect him than be reasonably assertive, but in reality, that just comes from your own ego.
  2. You’re afraid to lose your best friend. In some ways, he’s more like a brother than a best friend, but you can’t even imagine missing out on that bond in your life.
  3. He’s a genuinely great guy. There’s nothing bad you can say about him, so you feel nuts for questioning the relationship. But the thing is,  doing nothing wrong is different than being right.
  4. You feel too old to start over if this ends. It’s hard to imagine finding another right person even though this relationship has run its course, and you don’t want to be the last unmarried girl in town.
  5. The hassle of moving out of his place is just too much. You guys bought this whole living room set together, so what happens if you have to get your own place?
  6. He’s the hottest guy you’ve ever dated. And honestly, you’re unsure if you’re going to be able to top it, so it’s a hard thing to let go of.
  7. You drama is an addicting distraction. Life can be so weird and being alone with your thoughts is hard. At least you know what you’re getting from him, even if it takes a lot of your energy.
  8. The dating game is just too much for you. You listen to your friends bitch about their terrible first dates and getting burned on the regular, and you have no desire to be part of that scene again.
  9. You lack the self-confidence to move on. You feel lucky that even one decent guy wanted you and you honestly aren’t sure who else would find you hot and also put up with your BS. You obviously forget that everyone has their own BS.
  10. You see him as a trophy. He was a tough catch and getting him to commit at all was even harder, so you don’t want to lose that proof of your desirability.
  11. You’re caught in the fairytale. When you first met, he couldn’t have been more perfect, but reality has started to sink in and you’re trying to ignore the glaring signs that you’re just not compatible.
  12. He’s told you no one else would want you. And for some reason you believe him. Run!!!
  13. You don’t want to ruin your relationships with his family members. His sister is practically your best friend and you know her loyalty would always remain with him. If you break his heart, she might not forgive you.
  14. It’s an easy relationship. So it might not the type of deep love or romance they write songs about, but it doesn’t put uncomfortable pressure on your life, and to you, that’s good enough.
  15. You don’t want to lose your dog. The custody battle is too much to even imagine.
  16. He takes care of you financially. You’ve been a sole bread winner before and you don’t like thinking about having to do it again.
  17. Your parents love him. Considering that they’ve never even liked one of your boyfriends before, you feel like you should respect their love for him even though it’s missing from you.
  18. You’re afraid of being alone. He might not be the one but you figure at least you don’t have to sleep alone every night.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog