Are You Subconsciously Looking For A Way Out Of Your Relationship? Here’s How You Know

Sometimes we get super comfortable in our relationships. For some unions, that’s a good thing. For others, not so much. For the latter, that level of comfortability can turn into discontent. When that happens, we start displaying behaviors that could tell us that we’re not in the right relationship and that we want out before our minds arrive at that conclusion. Here’s how to tell if you want out of your relationship even if you don’t know it yet.

  1. You start window shopping. Appreciating beauty outside of your relationship is perfectly normal, but there’s a difference between seeing someone attractive and thinking seriously about what it would be like to start something up with them. If you’re on the lookout for potential partners, even if you think it’s just an innocent hot-person appreciation thing, it’s a sign you’re trying to give yourself a reason to leave.
  2. You care less about your partner’s feelings and it shows. When you start to feel unsatisfied in your relationship, some of the things you used to do for your partner to make them feel special stop. It’s natural for the pace of the romance to slow down, but it’s not natural for you to flat out disregard how your partner feels. It could be a sign that you’re trying to get out by making them want out too.
  3. You put more and more distance between you and your partner. If the emotional intimacy is starting to dwindle and you feel absolutely no urge to rekindle that spark, you could be the one causing that disconnect even if you don’t realize it.
  4. Your priorities have shifted. In the past, your weekly date night was set in stone because you wanted to make sure that you two were keeping the love alive. Now, you couldn’t care less if your partner cancels. You may even start to make excuses as to why you can’t keep up with the commitment. If you find yourself shifting your priorities from your relationship to other things in ways you haven’t in the past, there’s a good chance you’re starting to feel like you’d rather be single.
  5. You don’t listen to your partner anymore. Your partner will tell the same story sometimes. It’s inevitable. You’ve heard some of their stories a million times, but when they start on about it yet again, you zone out. You think of other things and can’t be bothered to even fake interest in what they’re saying.
  6. Your effort is practically gone. Maybe you used to plan all your getaways. Now you’re asking yourself, “what’s the point?” That’s a serious sign that you’re not entirely invested in the relationship.
  7. You let things slide. You have no fight left in you for your relationship and things that would have pissed you off a year ago have now become things that you just can’t be bothered with. If you find yourself letting your partner get away with things that you would usually have a lot to say about it, it’s a clear sign you’re actively trying to let the love die.
  8. Everything your partner does irritates you and you can’t wait to let them know. You won’t be head-over-heels in love with your partner at all times and they’re going to do things that annoy you to no end. A sign that you’re looking for a way out is when everything about them starts to tick you off. Their clothes, how they chew, the way they talk incessantly about celebrities—whatever the case may be. If your partner annoys you constantly and you let them know more often than not, you’re trying to get out without even knowing it yet.
  9. Their place in your future isn’t the same as it once was. When you’re in a serious relationship, the future tends to include your partner. If you’re starting to envision a future without them in it, there’s a good chance that you aren’t seeing them there for a reason.
  10. You’ve said goodbye to your sex life. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship but it sure as hell is an important part of romantic intimacy. If you can’t be bothered to have sex with your partner or find yourself thinking of someone else or dazing out completely while you’re with them, you aren’t invested in your relationship and it’s a good indication that you’re looking for a way out.
  11. You do things you never thought you would do. Maybe you disregard their feelings or you send flirty texts to other people—whatever the case may be—if you’re looking for ways out of your relationship you might start to do things that will cause them to break it off. It’s pretty cowardly, but you might not even realize that you’re doing it.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.