Are You Texting Too Much? 10 Signs It’s Time To Put The Phone Down

It’s only natural to want to text with your crush a lot as it shows him you’re interested and helps establish textual chemistry. However, there is such a thing as too much messaging. If you’re guilty of the following 10 behaviors, then it’s probably time to step away from the phone for a while and let the guy make some effort.

  1. You’re always the first to initiate conversation. Is this guy just replying to your messages and going with the flow? It’s not cool if you’re the one putting in all the effort to stay in touch and come up with cool things to say while he does the bare minimum. It certainly doesn’t set a good precedent for your relationship.
  2. You don’t know if he’d text you if you didn’t reach out first. If you’re always texting him first to try to stay stuck on his mind, you have no idea if he would even get in touch with you if you took a step back. In reality, that’s a good reason to stop texting him so much because you’ll see what you’re dealing with and if he’s even thinking of you when you’re not firing up his phone with texts.
  3. You’re running out of cool stuff to say. If you guys are texting each other so much that you’re not sure what else to say or your conversations become of the one-word variety after hours of chatting, you’re leaving nothing to mystery. You’re going to have nothing to say to each other when you get together in person.
  4. You have clashing texting styles. If you’re the type of person who wants to text all the time but he’s fine with going for days without chatting, then maybe it’s good to compromise a bit so you both get what you want. Otherwise, you’re going to feel like you’re chasing him or forcing him to talk.
  5. You’re the one asking all the questions. When you ask him how his day was and he replies, does he then ask you about yours? Does he ask you follow-up questions to keep the conversation running smoothly? If not, then you’re basically just wasting time and energy. You’re in a one-sided conversation and relationship here.
  6. You’re always left on read. If you find yourself sending him messages that are always left on read for hours or even days at a time, you should stop texting him so much because clearly, he’s not interested in getting to know you better. Don’t give him the satisfaction of a double-text to try to get to chat to him. He’s not worth it.
  7. You text when you’re anxious. If you don’t know where you stand with this guy and that causes you to want to make contact via text, you’re texting him out of insecurity not really because you have something interesting to share. Realize that texting him more isn’t going to make you feel better. You have to get to the root of the problem, such as what he’s doing to make you feel so insecure or anxious.
  8. You’re checking in. If you haven’t heard from him or he hasn’t responded to your last message, it can be tempting to try to “check in” just to see how he’s doing. But he can see right through this as you’re trying to get him to answer you. Slow down a bit. Let him come to you. The more you force the issue, the more you come across as clingy.
  9. You’re never present in your real life. It’s great to text a guy a lot and feel connected via your smartphones, but it’s not cool if you’re texting him so much that you’re neglecting the rest of your life. You’ve got loads of other things to do than get neck strain from all that texting.
  10. You’re too available. Linked to the above point is how texting him all the time can make you become way too available to him. If you’re always available to chat, even if it’s in the early hours and you have a busy day ahead that requires some beauty sleep, it gives him the message that you’re always going to be there to meet his needs. What about what you need? It’s good to back off a bit and let him see that you have some healthy boundaries he’s got to respect.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.