Ask Him These 10 Questions Now Before You Waste Any More Of Your Time

Determining whether or not there’s a legitimate future with the man you’re dating isn’t always easy, but the process can be simplified a whole lot by communicating with each other. If you’re starting to think that your relationship actually has long-term potential, ask your partner these questions to figure out if you’re truly compatible:

  1. Do you ever want to get married? You want a wedding, a white dress, and to promise forever to the man of your dreams in front of all your friends and family. What if he doesn’t believe in marriage, though? What if he thinks that vows are just an excuse for a legal contract? If you don’t want the same things, then in the end, one of you will have to give up the life you always wanted. Is he worth that to you?
  2. Do you want kids? The issue of children can be the biggest divide in even the best relationships. It’s not something most people are willing to give up or give in to. If you’ve always dreamed of being a mother, but he wants nothing to do with fatherhood, then will you really be happy living a childless life? Or would you try to force him into parenthood and leave your future kids with a father who doesn’t really want them? This is just one part of life where you need to be on the same page.
  3. What are your religious beliefs? Whether or not you and your partner have some sort of belief in a higher power can be extremely important to a relationship. If he goes to church on Sunday and you think religion is a joke, sooner or later those mismatched opinions are going to bubble to the surface, and the aftermath of that fight might be disastrous.
  4. What happened with your exes? Did he ghost someone? Has he cheated? Or has he been the one left with a broken heart? These are things you need to know about his past so that you can connect it to who he is now. You need to know if he’s carrying a fragile heart or if he’s the heartbreaker. If he’s made mistakes, then he needs to show you how he’s learned from them. No secrets, no skeletons in the closet — his past should be an open book to you.
  5. Do you believe in “The One”? If you believe in soulmates but he doesn’t, that could cause a rift in the relationship. On the other hand, he might be looking for his one and only while you believe there are multiple “right” people for any one person. Either way, you should know where your partner stands and if you can handle disagreeing outlooks on love.
  6. Where do you want to live? If he wants to move far, far away, but you’d never be able to leave your family, that’s something you should know before you fall too deep. Seeing yourselves at opposite ends of the country doesn’t make for an easy relationship or an easy life. If you’re headed in different directions and following different paths, it might be better if you cut ties now before you end up in heartbreak.
  7. Where do you see yourself in ten years? Being on the same page now can help you ensure that you get the future you both want. So what are his plans? When does he see himself married, having children, and moving to his dream house in his dream town? Where does he see himself ending up? Finally, do you see yourself ending up in that same place?
  8. What does retirement look like to you? If you want to travel the world, but he wants to stay home and watch every NFL game in history, then you might be looking at two very different futures. People often dream of the day they can retire and live the life they truly want. Are your lives on headed for the same destination?
  9. What are your ultimate career goals? You want to be with a man who is driven. If he’s planning to go into politics, move away to a big city job, or travel most of the year, these are things that you need to know. A career can drive your life, so wherever he wants that to take him or wherever you want your job to take you, are you both willing to go along with each other’s roller coaster ride?
  10. Are you happy? This is something you should always know about your partner. Is he happy with his life? It’s not just about his personal happiness, though — it’s also about whether or not he’s happy being with you. Is he happy in this relationship? Does being with him feel right? If he’s having doubts now, then maybe you’re not right for each other. If you don’t make each other’s lives better, then what’s the point in being together?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.