I Should Be Able To Ask A Guy Straight Up Whether He’s Into Me Or Not

There’s way too much beating around the bush in dating. I’m sick of wasting time trying to figure out if a guy is really into me or not. Why can’t I just ask him straight up?

  1. If he’s interested then the question won’t scare him off. Asking a guy if he’s interested in me doesn’t make me needy, it makes me smart. If something that little scares him off then he wasn’t ready for a real relationship anyway. He should be able to understand that I don’t want to waste any more time on men who don’t reciprocate my feelings. If he likes me, this won’t even faze him.
  2. I should be able to be myself. If I’m afraid to ask a guy a simple question then it’s pretty damn clear that I feel like I can’t be myself around him. I don’t want to put on a show and pretend like I’m the cool girl who doesn’t care about labels and just goes with the flow. That’s not who I am and I only want to be with a guy who likes the real me. If I can’t ask him how he feels without judgment then he’s definitely the wrong guy for me.
  3. I deserve better than mixed signals. Dating shouldn’t be as confusing as it is. There are way too many flirts and way too many guys who act like they’re looking for a relationship when they’re really just looking for a quick hookup. I’m over being on the receiving end of mixed signals, so why not cut to the chase and ask him point blank that way neither of us wastes any more time?
  4. He should know exactly how to answer that question. “Maybe” is not an option. He either likes me or he doesn’t. He’s either interested or he’s not and at any given moment he should know exactly how he feels. If he’s undecided, I’ll decide for him and be on my way.
  5. I want to know his exact intentions. Is he just trying to hook up with me? Does he just want to be friends or is he looking for something more? I can’t read his mind, so why shouldn’t I be able to ask what his exact intentions with me are? If I don’t know what he wants then I won’t know how to proceed. I don’t want to be left in the dark.
  6. I want to be with a guy who’s not afraid to talk about how he feels. Men who are afraid of emotions just aren’t for me. Some guys are still under the impression that it’s not manly to have feelings, but those guys need to grow the hell up. If you can’t tell me how you feel or even if you get uncomfortable talking about how you feel then you’re not ready for something real.
  7. If he doesn’t want me, I’ll find a man who does. I’m not going to wait around pining for a guy who couldn’t care less about me, I’m going to move on to one who’s actually worthy of my time. I’m not going to try to change his mind. He feels how he feels and nothing I say or do is going to change that. If he’s not feeling it, that’s my cue to move on.
  8. I’ll always be the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. I’m not someone who’s afraid of her feelings. I don’t have to analyze my heart to see if I’m really attracted to a guy. There’s either a spark or there’s no chemistry at all. When I feel something, I say something. That’s just who I am and if a guy can’t handle that, good riddance.
  9. I’m not interested in being casual. I have the right to check if I’m on the same page with the guy I’m seeing. If he only wants a casual hookup or anything other than a real relationship then that’s kind of something I need to know. I don’t want to fall for him and then find out we were never going to be anything serious. I’d rather know what he wants and how he feels from the very beginning.
  10. I want to be with someone who can handle confrontation. If he runs away when things get serious, I’d rather know that sooner than later. Every relationship has its ups and downs and I want to be with a guy who isn’t afraid of that. Confrontation is a part of life. I want an answer to my question and I’m not going to get it any other way, so why not just ask?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.