Your Attitude About Being Alone Is What Makes It Suck To Be Single

Your Attitude About Being Alone Is What Makes It Suck To Be Single ©iStock/PeopleImages

One is the loneliest number, right? Wrong — it doesn’t have to be. The idea that being part of a couple is a cure-all for feelings of isolation and abandonment is not only ridiculous, it’s completely untrue. Being single doesn’t have to mean you’re alone OR lonely — in fact, your relationship status or lack thereof doesn’t determine anything at all unless you let it.

  1. You should always have more people in your life than just a boyfriend. This is Dating 101. If you’re in a relationship, don’t give up all the other relationships in your life for the one you have with your boyfriend. You need to have friends, family and coworkers to keep the balance. There’s more to your life than just a romantic relationship, so start building that life while you’re still a single woman.
  2. Falling in love with yourself is empowering, not sad. You’ll never be lonely because you’ll love your own company. If there’s no man to speak of in your life, then stop focusing on the romantic relationship you don’t have and start focusing on the relationship you have with yourself. If you learn to truly love yourself for exactly the person you are then you’ll never be alone. You’ll be independent, and that makes all the difference.
  3. Having good friends is the best way to survive the dating game. When you’re single, you’re going to have moments when life feels like a drag. That’s why you need friends that you can lean on when times get tough. You may not have a partner to get you through the ups and downs that are part of life, but having solid friendships can be just as satisfying — if you let them.
  4. You have the power to be happy right now. If you’re waiting for a man to make you happy, then you’re going to be waiting a long time — like, forever. Happiness starts and ends with you. If you’re unhappy being single then you’ll still be unhappy in a relationship. A man can’t solve your problems, and even with his company, you could still feel “alone” in the world. Find a way to be happy right now and that sense of loneliness will just fade away.
  5. If you’re single then you should be going out. If you really want to meet a man, then you’re not going to meet one spending every night in. The man of your dreams isn’t just going to turn up on your doorstep unannounced, so get off the couch, take a break from your Netflix, go out and have some fun. You deserve it. You’re only lonely if you choose to be, so go out and choose otherwise.
  6. You’re never too old for a roommate. If you’re not the type of person who can live alone, then don’t. Your age doesn’t matter. You should definitely move out of your parents’ house so you can learn to be independent and pay your own damn bills, but there’s nothing wrong with living with a friend. If you don’t want to be alone at home, don’t forget you have the power to change that.
  7. You’ll always have your family. Say your worst nightmare happens and you remain forever single, never marry, and never have children of your own. That doesn’t mean you’re left without a family. You’ll always have the people you started with and the friendships you made along the way. You’re not alone. You’re a part of a ton of different relationships. You just have to open your eyes and see that.
  8. Pets make everything better. Whether you prefer dogs, cats or even something foreign, a pet can make a house (or an apartment) feel like a home. You don’t have to have romantic love in your life for companionship. In fact, no man will ever love you like a pet can. That kind of loyalty just can’t be compared.
  9. Your life doesn’t start when you meet the one. It already started, so don’t sit around letting it pass you by. Go out and live. If you’re sitting around waiting for a man you won’t have any good stories to tell when you do finally meet someone. Your world can’t revolve around the future love of your life. So make yourself a priority and start having a life now. Odds are if you finally live your life to the fullest, that’s how you’ll finally meet “The One.”
  10. Loneliness is a state of mind. So snap yourself out of it. Don’t focus on the man you don’t have; focus on the people you DO have. You might not have love, but you’re not alone in life. That’s what you need to remember. The best way to be “alone” is to be optimistic. Look at the glass half full and realize that you don’t need a man to cure your loneliness. You already have the cure — you just have to realize that one is only a lonely number if you let it be.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.