Identifying someone you’re genuinely interested in is hard enough; making them aware of your presence and potential chemistry is even harder. If you’re looking for ways to subtly attract someone great, try these 10 things—trust me, they won’t take much effort.
- Confidence is everything. If you doubt yourself, they’ll doubt you too. Don’t worry about being too loud or honest or awkward. Those things are what make you unique. Whatever reasons you have to hide yourself are just your insecurities and have no basis in reality. You deserve to be just as confident as anyone else and the more you believe that fact, the more attractive you’ll be.
- Be exactly who you are. Your dream partner is obsessed with your truest self. If the person you’re trying to attract isn’t obsessed with you at your most real, then they’re not for you. It’s that simple. Your only goal should be to show them who you are, not to be the person you think they want you to be. If they’re worth it, they’ll know you’re the woman of their dreams the moment you lose your social filters and reveal the person underneath.
- Don’t dumb yourself down. It’s true that some people are intimidated by smart and ambitious women, but those people don’t deserve you anyway. Intelligence shines through you and makes you even more physically attractive than you already are. Don’t hide it! If they’re worthy of you, your mind will attract them like a magnet.
- Have opinions. Intelligence is sexy, but so are strongly held beliefs. Don’t be afraid of having a different outlook on the world or a different philosophy than the person you have your eye on. As long as you are showing how thoughtful and interesting you are, you’ll connect with them on a level that is far deeper than sharing a religion or having the same political views. If you have chemistry, the rest will seem trivial in comparison.
- Find joy in being alone. Entering a relationship from a place of need rather than want never ends well. Your attraction to them should be about them, not about you filling an unresolved emptiness inside of you. Spend some time alone before you attempt to attract their attention. Once you know you’re good on your own, your independence will give you the confidence to be who you are and take risks in attracting whoever you want to be with.
- Get familiar with their friends. One great way to get someone to notice you is to infiltrate their friend group. For all you know, they might just be too intimidated to approach you. If you start hanging out with their friends, you’ll seem a lot more attainable. Plus, even if it doesn’t work out with the person you’re interested in, you might get some new friends out of it.
- Remember that you’re more than worthy of whoever you want to be with. No matter if they’re incredibly smart, incredibly famous, incredibly attractive, incredibly rich, or all of the above, they’re not out of your league. You deserve the best possible partner, and if they fit that description, go for it with all you’ve got.
- Don’t compare yourself to other people. Comparisons are a waste of energy. Either you’re tearing yourself down or thinking unkindly about someone else. Neither scenario leads to a good mindset, and a good mindset is key to being attractive. No matter what standard of beauty or charm you hold yourself to, the fact remains that everyone is different. You’re much less likely to be attractive if you try to be someone else than if you embrace the gifts and uniqueness that you already have.
- Identify the things you love about yourself. If you’re struggling to find confidence, start small. Choose three things that you love about yourself and fill your mind with all the reasons you value them. Make those attributes so big in your mind that they crowd out all the negative feelings you have towards yourself. Once you’ve filled your mind with positivity, you’ll begin to see every part of yourself with more compassion and pride than before, even the parts you thought you didn’t like.
- Find contentment in the prospect of not achieving your goal. Some relationships don’t work out and that’s OK. Some relationships never even get a chance to start, and that’s OK too. It’s entirely possible that you and your dream guy won’t connect. In order for you to have a chance together, you need to be cool with that. If they don’t fall madly in love with you, you’ll be just as well off as you were before, and there will be plenty more dream people in the future.
