Why Having A Backup Guy May Be Your Smartest Dating Move

It’s a well-kept secret that many women have backburner guys while they’re dating. It’s not until things get really serious that the backup guys are no more. Some say it’s wrong – but is it really? If you’re not planning on happily ever after with a guy, you have the right to have a few guys sitting around just waiting for your attention (as long as they’re cool with that, too, that is). It doesn’t hurt anyone and you always have a great guy waiting. Sounds like a win-win to me. The lesson here ladies is to hold on to your little black book and make sure to always have a few extra special guys just a call or text away.

  1. You never have to start from scratch. You thought the guy was wonderful, so you cut ties with the other four guys you were flirting with. Now they’re not interested at all and the first guy dumped you a month later for the waitress from your first date. If you’d kept in touch with those other four, you’d be able to instantly ask one of them out. No having to go to a bar or searching endlessly on dating sites for a guy you’d like to date. You always have someone on standy.
  2. You don’t know how a date will go. Whether it’s the first date or the 10th, you honestly have no idea how things are going to turn out. It might seem like true love, but until the two of you have actually discussed a long term future, don’t let go of other potential dates. All you have to do is remain friendly with your backburner guys and they’ll be happy to take you out after the other guy fails to treat you like the princess you are.
  3. It can boost your confidence. You know that moment where you question whether a guy actually finds you attractive or not. Maybe he’s suddenly more interested in Netflix than you or you see him eyeing other women more often. Spend a little time hanging out with a backburner guy and you’ll instantly see just how attractive you are. They’re great for an instant confidence boost.
  4. They’re not just for dating. Backburner guys make great friends. You never have to actually date them. There’s probably some mutual attraction, but these guys respect you’re dating someone else. They may even date other women when you’re taken. Odds are, you’ve spend valuable time getting to know these guys as friends and they know you too. Even if you never date, you can still be friends.
  5. They make the perfect rebound. If you’re just physically attracted to one or more of your backburner guys, then you have the perfect rebound just a text or call away. No going out, no wait period. Just call, let them know you’re single and tell them you need some very active comforting. The flirting’s already done, so you just get to enjoy yourself for a few weeks.
  6. It makes a guy work harder. If you instantly devote yourself completely to guy you’ve just started dating, they’re likely to take you for granted. Forget romantic gestures, texting you back quickly or compromising and doing things you want to do. With some guys on the backburner, your boyfriend knows he has competition. He knows someone else is just waiting for him to make a mistake. This makes him work harder to keep you by his side.
  7. They can be great dates for friends. So what happens if everything does work out with you and the guy you’re dating? Don’t let your backup guys just fade away. Introduce them to your friends. Your friends will be grateful and the guys will be glad they waited. Everyone’s happy and it’s all thanks to you.
  8. You should date more than one guy at a time. Where’s the rule that says you can only date one guy at a time? Until the two of you have made the decision to be exclusive, you’re free to date as many guys as you want. Not sure if Guy A is going to work out? Go ahead and start dating Guy B and even Guy C. Think of it as The Bachelorette, just without the cash prize in the end. Odds are, the guys are dating other women too, so why should you sit home alone waiting for him to call?
  9. It makes breakups easier. One of the reasons women get so upset after a breakup is they feel they’ll be alone forever. When you have guys on standby, give yourself a few weeks to get over the breakup and then give one of your guys a call. You never have to feel alone again. Just remember to always take some time to build up new backup guys when you’re single, so you don’t end up with no one to call.
  10. You feel sexier. Knowing there are at least a few guys out there who think you’re sexy is enough to make you feel sexier even on your worst day. Spilled coffee all over your top, stepped in a mud puddle and your hair is frizzier than ever? Just remember you have multiple guys who’d love nothing more than to strip you down, wash you off and really mess up your hair.
  11. Guys do it, too. Think women are the only ones who do this? Guys do it all the time. It’s not disrespectful. It’s just planning for the future. They even keep tabs on relationship statuses of the women on their own list. Guys are always prepared. Shouldn’t you be too?

While having guys on standby might not be for everyone, they do have their benefits. Give it a try the next time you’re single. You’ll be glad you did.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.