A Bad Marriage Is Infinitely Worse Than Being Single

It’s hard to find Mr. Right, but it doesn’t mean that by a certain time you should take whatever’s out there in case he never comes along.I have to be totally crazy about the guy I’m with to want to marry him — anything less, and I’d rather be single forever.

  1. Why would I want a miserable life? There’s no way that being with the wrong guy could make me happy. I can’t ignore it if we don’t get along or I don’t feel an attraction. If I had to marry such a guy, it would be like being in a loveless prison. No way.
  2. Society is overrated. I remember one of my single friends used to pretend to be dating someone out of fear of people judging him if he was single. I used to wonder, “Do people who interact with him go home and care about whether he’s single or not?” Even if they did, who cares? I’m not going to choose a life path based on fear of other people’s opinions. Society isn’t living my life.
  3. Fitting in is so much less important than being happy. I don’t want to be married just for the sake of it or so that I can have something in common with my hitched friends. It’s ridiculous! I put more value on my happiness, whether I’m in a relationship or single.
  4. There’s nothing wrong with being single. On the other hand, there’s definitely something wrong with people who settle just to say that they’re married or get married to the wrong guy so that they can have someone in their lives. It’s really messed up and not something I ever want to do.
  5. I’ve dated the wrong people, and that was bad enough. Seriously, being with toxic boyfriends in the past was absolute hell. I’d be stressed all the time and anxious about the future. I can’t imagine going through that in a marriage, and I value myself too much to put myself through that.
  6. I’m not desperateIt really comes down to not being desperate. I don’t need a man in my life to the point of freaking out if I don’t get married or scrambling to find a partner, any partner, in order to get that ring on my finger. It’s not worth it.
  7. Marriage doesn’t guarantee happiness. I’ve seen women get married to guys they didn’t really want, thinking that marriage would somehow make them happy. How? If the person I decide to marry isn’t the right guy for me, then I’m already starting on a really depressing foot and screwing up my chance for happiness.
  8. I don’t want to waste more time. I get that some women might think that since they’ve invested years in a relationship, the next logical step is to get married. But isn’t that shooting off one’s own foot? If I had to be in a long-term relationship and not feel that it should end up in marriage, I’d rather cut my losses. It would suck to have invested those years of dating, but it would suck much more to lose more years of my life because I feel obligated to “take the next step” in the relationship.
  9. I can make myself happyI don’t need someone else to be a happy person. Happiness starts within and comes from leading a good, blissful life. If I get married to someone I really love, it’ll boost my happiness, which is a bonus. But knowing I can be happy on my own means that I won’t settle for an unhappy marriage. My happiness is not something to be compromised on.
  10. Life is complicated enough. There are so many ups and downs and stresses in life. The last thing I’d want is to be in an unhappy marriage because it would bring more drama to my life that I could’ve avoided.
  11. Too many things are average in life; love shouldn’t be one of them. I want to get married because I’m in love with my boyfriend and see an exciting future ahead of us. I don’t want to settle for something average, not when it comes to love. Hell, there are so many boring things in life. I won’t let my relationship or marriage be one of them.
  12. I’m not in the business of changing someone. As a previous “fixer” in relationships, I’ve learned the hard way that being with someone in the hope that they’ll change is a huge waste of time. It only ends in disappointment. If I had to date a guy who I felt was a work in progress, there’s no way I’d want to marry him — I’d rather dump his ass. I don’t want to force a guy to change into a better man. I don’t have the energy or time for that crap.
  13. I know I can do better. Sometimes people get married because they feel they can’t do better. Um, is their partner the last guy on earth? Come on, it’s ridiculous to think that there’s no chance for real love out there. Why would I sabotage myself by marrying the wrong guy? If I were single, I’d rather keep looking for the right guy, and if I didn’t find him, then I’d be happy that at least I didn’t have to deal with a bad marriage.
  14. If I’m miserable alone, at least the pain is mine. Sure, being alone can get lonely. I’d know — I was single for five years at one point in my life. But you know what they say: better alone than unhappily attached. At least if I go through pain related to being single, it’s my own pain. I can find ways to alleviate it, but the pain of being with the wrong guy would be so much harder to deal with. An unhappy marriage is not always easy to get out of.
  15. The wedding fairytale needs to die. Sometimes people get married ’cause they want that wedding fairytale: the beautiful reception, the amazing wedding dress, and so on. But that lasts for a few hours and then it’s over forever. What about the marriage that comes afterward? Uh. There’s no wedding that’s amazing enough for me to want to have it at any cost because a wedding is just a ‘thing’. Marriage is a life-changer. It has to be with someone I’m really, totally, madly in love with for me to take that step.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.