Making plans isn’t a thing of the past, and it shouldn’t be that difficult to follow through on something. I understand that relationships have become way more casual and laid back, but if I set up a time and a place to meet up and hang out with someone, I actually expect them to be there whether it’s my friend or someone I’m dating. If they bail on me more than once after we’ve made plans, I’m moving on.
I understand that things come up.
People get ill, traffic sucks, their dog is sick, someone else needs them for some important reason — I get it and I fully understand that life happens. However, if something else comes up every time we make plans, I’m going to stop making them.
They should at least let me know they can’t make it.
If for some reason they can’t make it, for the love of all things holy, all I ask is that they let me know. Preferably, they should let me know well ahead of time so I don’t spend time getting ready.
I’ll give them a second chance, not a third.
If it happens once, fine. I truly believe that everyone deserves a second chance. Even if we have plans and they don’t show up without calling or letting me know, I’ll let it slide for the first time — but only the first time. Maybe they just simply forgot or something else came up that took all of their attention. If it becomes a habit, I’m done.
My time is valuable.
If I make plans to hang out with them on a Saturday afternoon, or any day of the week for that matter, they need to realize how lucky they are. My days are valuable — in fact, all of my time is valuable, and so is theirs. They shouldn’t confirm dinner plans if they’re not going to show up. All they’re doing is wasting my time and making me more upset with them.
I’ll take personally.
If they don’t show up, I’ll absolutely think that it has something to do with me. Either they don’t like me, they’re no longer interested in a relationship or don’t care enough about me to spend time with me or stick to the plans we made. Your decisions always impact others and they need to remember that.
If they’re one of those people who constantly makes plans yet doesn’t show up, they’re flakey as hell and that’s not cute. I don’t need someone in my life who can brush off commitments and leave people hanging like it’s no big deal. It doesn’t make them laid back, a free spirit, or whatever else they want to call it to make themselves feel better.
It’s just plain rude.
Above anything else, bailing on plans is rude. They’re clearly only thinking of themselves in a situation where bailing on someone seems okay. I feel the same way about rude people as I do about flakey people — I don’t need them in my life.
If I can’t count on them to actually show up when they said they would, there’s no way I can count on them for anything else, especially anything important. Maybe they’re good for a laugh or a drink, but that’s as far as I’ll let the relationship get because I know I can’t put my trust in them.
They’re too lazy.
What kind of person makes plans and then stays home in sweatpants instead? Trust me, I love a night in watching Netflix and ordering Chinese food as much as the next person, but if I tell them I’m meeting them somewhere, I’ll be there. Life is all about balance — they can make it work.
Our relationship isn’t a priority to them.
I’m not forcing anyone to hang out with me, but if they’re actually interested in a friendship or a relationship with me, they’ll make the effort and show up. If they don’t, it’s a clear sign letting me know that they’re not interested and our relationship isn’t a priority for them.
Their apologies don’t matter anymore.
Ever heard the saying that actions speak louder than words? Yeah, this totally applies here. I don’t care how many times they apologize or say they wish they could have made it — the bottom line is that if they really wanted to be there, they would have been.
Their excuses don’t matter either.
As I mentioned earlier, I get that things come up and I’m willing to give them a second chance. However, I’m not willing to listen to excuse after excuse every time they bail on me. They’re probably lying to me, or at least that’s what I’ll be thinking.
The relationship is over.
This goes for friends and significant others alike. If they bail on me more than once, I’m done with them. That doesn’t mean that we can keep trying to make plans, or even keep talking. I can find someone who will actually follow through on plans and show up with they say they will. I mean what I say when I say I’m moving on, and they’ll have no one to blame but themselves.
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