BDSM became very popular after 50 Shades of Grey was not only released as a book but adapted into a movie. Now almost all horny millennials want to unleash their kinky side. You might wonder if BDSM is right for you or how far you’re willing to go if you do dive in. That’s where the BDSM test questions come in. The BDSM test which is a kinky version of Myers-Briggs’s personality test will help you figure this out. Here are some questions to help you figure out what you like.
- Do you prefer to give or receive during sex? I think this is the first question anyone curious about BDSM should answer as it will help you decipher whether you’ll become the dom (dominant) or sub (submissive) in the bedroom. If you love receiving orders or having your sexual partner go all kinky on you while you submit to them, then maybe you’ll likely play the “Sub” role in the bedroom. Or if you love bossing another around while they bend to you, you’re a born, “Dom”. So, try and identify your preference.
- Are you into roleplaying? Roleplay in BDSM is simply two lovers acting out a scene or fantasy either physically or online. This can either be planned or happen impromptu and both partners might need to use costumes, props, or even write a script for it. It’s your typical movie except here, there’s no camera or filming equipment. Just you and your lover or sex buddy pretending to be someone else with sexual sparks flying around. If you fantasize about this, then maybe BDSM is for you.
- Do you enjoy spanking? Erotic spanking is when your partner smacks your butt or other sexual body parts for sexual gratification. Kristine D’Angelo, a certified sex coach, and clinical sexologist opine that erotic spanking is simply when “You’re spanking someone or getting spanked for the erotic and sexual pleasure it brings.” You don’t necessarily need any BDSM props. You only need a willing hand and buttocks. Your partner can spank you once or multiple times and they can either be gentle, hard, painful, rough, or romantic depending on the mood and your tolerance level. If this form of erotic pleasure fascinates you, you might just be in BDSM.
- What do you think of bondage in sex? The B in BDSM symbolizes Bondage. It’s a kinky term that involves a sexual partner restraining the other for pleasure. There’re a lot of kinky tools involved from handcuffs to blindfolds, ropes, gags, or even cages. There’s usually a power play involved where one partner takes on a more dominant role, restraining the other who takes the submissive role with any of those kinky items I listed previously. Next, the dominant partner either teases the other with sex toys or has sex with them. If you get aroused thinking about the whole bondage process whether as a dom or sub, then maybe BDSM is for you.
- Do you like being controlled in the bedroom? Maybe you hold a high position in your daily life and you spend most of your days dishing out orders to your workers, and employees, and just need to take a break from your daily routine. And so you don’t mind submitting to the whims, desires, and orders of your sexual partner inside the bedroom. There is no shame in admitting that this turns you on. Kate Moyle, Psychosexual Therapist, and EFS & ESSM Certified Psycho-Sexologist point out that “…being in a submissive role offers the opposite to someone who is in a high power role in daily life – this takes away from some of the pressures and expectations of the daily routine, offering a sense of relief or the ability to fully let go in the experience.”
More questions on the BDSM test to ask yourself
- Do you love the idea of sex as punishment? If your answer is yes, then you can add a plus sign to your kinkiness. You can either get off from watching your partner receive pain or get aroused at the idea of your partner tying you up and spanking your butt for a misdeed. The idea of submitting yourself to be punished by your partner and getting turned on as he takes out his or her anger on your body is all shades of kinky.
- Are you open to the idea of group sex? Does the thought of making out with multiple people appeal to you? Are you thinking of getting into bed with your partner‘s best buddies? Do you enjoy having multiple people please you at the same time during sex? If the answer is “Yes,” then that could be a sign that you’ll be a dom in the bedroom.
- Do you enjoy playing ‘dress-up’ in the bedroom? BDSM sex is fueled by fantasies; kinky pleasure-packed imagination that will sound bizarre to many. Do you want to wear an apron in the bedroom and pretend you spilled coffee on your partner’s erogenous zones? Then, you’re going to enjoy roleplaying. It could also mean you don’t mind being a ‘sub’ to a ‘dom partner who’s going to order you to wear a janitor’s outfit or play cop.
- What does sex mean to you? How you imagine or love sex plays a huge role in determining whether you’re going to love BDSM or not. Timid and conservative people will hardly be interested in BDSM. To them, there’s only one proper way to have sex and that’s in the bedroom, with the lights off and the man on top of the woman. If your imagination doesn’t go beyond this traditional lovemaking, then I doubt if BDSM is for you, no test needed. And that’s perfectly okay too.
As much as these questions will likely point you in the right direction on what you’ll like in regards to BDSM (if anything), you still need to give it a try. Safe to say that the best way to figure out where you stand is to give it try. Keep in mind that it’s usually better to try these with someone who’s as sexually adventurous and curious as you and someone that you trust.
