Want To Be More Attractive? Ignore Your Appearance—Do These Things Instead

The older you get, the more you realize that it’s true: looks fade. Sure, we can always do things to help us feel attractive, like getting our hair dyed and grabbing a gym membership. But, the best way to improve our levels of attraction includes making changes from the inside out. Here are easy, genuine ways to become more attractive.

  1. Get rid of the negativity in your life. If you’re the type of person who’s still holding grudges you’ve had since high school, you might want to consider squashing your beef and realizing that people do change. You might not need to become best friends with the people who’ve wronged you in the past, but showing that you’re mature enough to let go will make you seem like a much more approachable person. You don’t even need to openly reach out to people — just be more receptive and less critical of their Facebook adds and Instagram comments.
  2. Try to always see the bright side of things. On a related note, try not to start every conversation with a negative thought. Instead of being upset that it’s raining, think about how beneficial rain is to the environment. Did you ruin your favorite dress in the wash? Well, think of that as an excuse to buy something completely different and expand your wardrobe. Most everything has a bright side to it, and people are naturally attracted to those who always look for the positive.
  3. Also, be more positive when talking about cultural figures. Back when Britney Spears was topping the charts, many girls instantly hated her. That stemmed from the fact that they wish they could be her. Who didn’t want to look like Britney in 2001? Celebrities and notable icons have it kind of tough, and openly snarking on them just makes you look insecure. Even if you hate Kim Kardashian, you have to at least admit she knows how to run a business and is trying to use her platform for a purpose these days. Always acknowledge the good, first and foremost.
  4. Book up some weekends with activities you’ve always wanted to try. Ever want to be part of a paint and sip class? Instead of talking about it, make it a reality. There are so many great local events happening around you that will get you out of the house and fill your life. Keep in mind that even if you’re out of school, it’s not an excuse to stop learning and picking up new passions. If it’s between taking a fun class and watching The Office for the seventh time on Netflix, you should side with the class. People like it when the person they’re dating has developed a life and interests outside of dating.
  5. Volunteer your time. Know what’s sexy? Having hobbies. If those hobbies help other people, even better. Just think about it — if you had to choose between two equally great people but one of them volunteered at a food bank every Saturday, who would you choose? When someone gives their time to help a cause, it shows they have a big heart.
  6. Be a good listener. People are much more willing to talk than listen. On your dates, make sure to truly pay attention to what your date is saying, and offer follow-up questions. Be present and in the moment. Yes, that means putting your phone away.
  7. Become self-aware. Everyone has faults and things they need to improve on. Instead of denying them, be open about them. That’s the first step towards getting better. If you’re chronically late to things, it’s much better to be open and upfront with your date than continuously lying and saying there was traffic, or the clock was off.
  8. Take it easy on yourself. It’s easy to think the world is falling apart if you happen to have a massive breakout before a first date. Yes, it happens to adults too. Instead of feeling like you blew your chances, take a deep breath and realize that this was out of your control. If you feel like your date will even notice, all you need to do is crack a quick, non-self-deprecating joke about it and not mention it further. Canceling the date altogether will send the wrong message.
  9. Be informed. When you go to a job interview, you usually do a little bit of research about the organization beforehand. Why not do the same for a date? If you learn that you’re about to go out with someone who works for a specific nonprofit, it wouldn’t hurt to look up what they do, just to show them you’re invested in them. They’ll like the fact that you took that extra step.
  10. Recycle. Seriously — make a point to look after the environment the best way you can. While it’d be weird to mention “recycling” as one of your hobbies, try your best to incorporate your best efforts into your routine. Anyone who cares about the planet is attractive. Being wasteful is a big turn-off.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.