It might not sound like the most romantic approach, but dating is a lot like running a business. When you take out all the pressure of finding “The One”, it’s easier to put things into perspective. As it turns out, dating isn’t nearly as frustrating this way. Stepping away from the usual dating rules and thinking of dating as a business could get you out of the loser/jerk rut you’ve been in. When the product on the line is you, it’s worth investing more than just clothes and lipstick.
- You’re trying to make a sale. In a business, the object is to sale products or services. When dating, you want to sale yourself to whoever you’re dating. You want to show off your best qualities while downplaying any negatives. Sound familiar? Whether you’re looking for a fun night or forever, consider yourself a valuable commodity. And no, I don’t mean as a call girl. The point I’m trying to make is talk about your positives and leave the baggage for later.
- It’s just a business meeting. During a business meeting, the idea is to learn more about your associates or clients. It’s professional yet casual. You obviously want to keep everyone interested, but there’s no commitment at this point. Your first few dates are basically business meetings. Try to keep it casual, yet professional. It’s not the time to show off your drinking skills. That’s not the way to impress a client and who knows what you’ll say or do in the process. The first few dates are for learning about each other. Relax. It’s just a meeting, nothing serious.
- Take the pressure off. For some reason, dating automatically equals the world on your shoulders type of pressure. Businesses would love to hook every potential client, but they know it’s not going to happen. They go into every encounter confident in making a sale, but they’re not devastated when it doesn’t happen. It’s just part of doing business. Think of dating the same way. So what if it doesn’t work out? You went out, met someone new and you can do it all over again another day. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and just be you. It’ll work out much better that way.
- Learn from mistakes. Businesses are always trying new marketing strategies. One might work okay, but another goes viral and leads to a massive increase in sales. What went wrong on your last few dates? Was it him or you? Did you over share or not talk enough? Odds are, you can learn quite a lot from analyzing past experiences. If you happen to be friends with any of those failed dates, ask their opinion. Research helps you improve your game. Maybe that hair flip you think is supposed to be super cute and flirty actually makes guys feel awkward. Who knows? Learn what’s going wrong and work to improve it.
- Make a plan. Want to know why many businesses fail? They don’t have a clear plan. The most important thing to do when thinking of dating as a business is to make a plan. What do you want from a date? Where are the best places to go? How should you meet new people? What makes a guy attractive to you? I know it sounds like far too much work, but isn’t it a pain spending hours getting ready for a bunch of dates that never go anywhere? A little work upfront leads to some fun playtime later on.
- Say no to anything that doesn’t fit the plan. Your friend has found the perfect guy for you, but you’re really not attracted to him. You waste your time going on a few dates, knowing you have to end it. Why bother? Successful businesses don’t grow by going backwards. They make solid plans and stick to them. Going on dates with people you don’t like or aren’t attracted to doesn’t help you. It’s okay to be picky. Say no. Otherwise, the right guy could pass you by while you’re on a date with an obvious mister wrong.
- Branding is important. I hate it when I see grown women changing themselves for every guy they date. So what if he likes tomboys? If you’re a girly girl, own it. Businesses know the importance of branding. It’s the image they present to the public. What’s your brand? Do you know who you really are? Drop any acts you might be putting on to impress potential dates. You’ll just attract the wrong people. Find out who you are and let that be your brand. The people who really give a damn about you like the real you. If the guy you’re dating doesn’t like you, move on to someone better.
- High value clients are always best. If you’ve ever worked in retail, you know the customer who’s buying the most expensive items gets priority over the one buying something cheap. In the dating world, high value clients are the guys who treat you right, respect women, are interested in what you have to say and genuinely want to get to know you for you, not just to get in your pants. It’s pretty easy to tell who these guys are. Don’t waste your time with the low grade clients. You want a successful dating life? Go after the good guys instead. They’re high quality, fun and sexy as hell.
- You make the rules. Businesses have to follow certain rules of course, but they get free reign on most everything else. They decide what products to sell, pricing, types of customers to target, branding and more. You could get lost in the endless number of dating rules out there. Why waste your time on that? It’s your business, so you make the rules. Want to only go to casual restaurants on the first date? Then do it. Want to start the date with a kiss to take the pressure off? Go for it. Making the rules yourself shows off your personality, makes you feel more confident and lets a guy know who you really are.
Take control over your dating life once and for all. Think of it as a business and suddenly, everything changes. It’s the independent woman’s way to date.