How To Be The Kind Of Woman Every Man Wants

If you’re single and looking but can’t seem to make a good match with any of the guys you encounter, things can get frustrating pretty quickly. But maybe the key is to stop looking and start honing in on all the other amazing qualities you have that make you the kind of woman every man wants, even if he never knew until he met you. Not only will you increase your dateability, you’ll increase your choices when all the guys are lining up just for a chance to take you out.

  1. Be confident. And if you’re not, fake it. Who’s going to know the difference? It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy, anyway, and you’ll get there eventually. There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who’s comfortable with herself and her place in the world.
  2. Keep your body language relaxed in social settings. You don’t have to twirl around with your arms wide open, but avoid crossing them with a death grip while staring at the ground. While it can be nerve-racking for the more introverted among us, the more you put yourself out there, the easier it’ll be.
  3. Work on your eye contact. Sometimes all a guy needs to start talking is to make eye contact with you, but if he can’t, he might give up before he gets the chance.
  4. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Being inauthentic can make it hard to see the real person underneath… which is the only thing you really have to offer. Plus, you can only keep up the charade for so long, and eventually all the personality traits or interests you were faking will crumble. Do you and the right people will like it.
  5. Act interested. Playing hard to get can work in some circumstances, but men get just as nervous about being vulnerable as women do, so you don’t want to shut them down when you actually might be interested.
  6. Don’t be a bragger. People who brag a lot come off as insecure which is not a real desirable quality in a date.
  7. Actually want a man. If you’re projecting that independent woman vibe too much, you might come off as not being open to a relationship. It’s okay to handle your stuff and see want a boo thang.
  8. Pay your bills. If your life is in disarray around you (or threatening to be), you’re better off fixing all that stuff up before you try to find the right guy. You don’t have to perfect, but hot mess isn’t real productive.
  9. Ask guys out. Maybe it’s not your ideal scenario, but it will probably help you get more dates, right? You should feel confident enough to approach a guy who catches your eye in 2015, ladies.
  10. Be happy with your appearance. It’s up to you what trends and norms you follow or shun, but make sure that your clothing and beauty choices make you feel like the best version of yourself, and other people will take note.
  11. Remember that dating is supposed to be fun. These aren’t business meetings, they’re an opportunity to get to know a person that you might actually enjoy hanging out with.
  12. Tell your friends that you’re open to being set up. Or finally accept their lined up blind dates. Who cares if it doesn’t work out? It’s practice for the time that it does. Plus, it’s usually free dinner.
  13. Unpack your emotional baggage. Just because you’ve been cheated on by the last three men you dated does not mean every man is a cheater. You’ve got to wipe the slate clean and try to trust again if there’s in chance in getting back out there.
  14. Don’t put too much pressure on your dates. Technically there’s always the possibility that you’re about to go on a first date with your next boyfriend (or future husband), but you probably won’t be deciding that on the first date anyway, so just relax and enjoy.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog