You Become Who You Date, So Be Careful

So many women find one decent quality in a guy and justify everything else that sucks about him. They begin to date him, and next thing you know, his crappy attitude or lazy habits become hers. We’ve all seen it. You become who you date, so be careful you don’t do the following things:

  1. Ignore the obvious reality that he doesn’t have a job I’m not saying that your boyfriend has to be the CEO of Apple, but if he doesn’t even have a part-time job, then you should probably go ahead and walk away. Before you know it, you’ll find reasons why you need to lay out of work and be unproductive with him. Don’t be the girlfriend who buys extra video game controllers for him. Let the boy grow up and get a job.
  2. Forget Mom’s advice about boys who never come around the fam He’d rather play that silly Boom Beach game on his phone than participate in a dinner conversation with your family. If he makes up every excuse in the book for reasons that he can’t spend time with your family or hang out with your friends, then it’s time for a change. This is when you tell him to either man up or get out. If you don’t, you might start treating them the same way. And they deserve better than that.
  3. Justify the way he blows off responsibility It’s not cute when he forgets to pay his cell phone bill and it’s definitely not attractive when he doesn’t show up for a job interview. The more you tolerate his lack of responsibility, the more you will mentally justify why these sorts of things are acceptable. Who knows? Maybe you’ll forget why it’s important to pay your internet bill.
  4. Shut out the fact that he never actually takes you out Your date nights revolve around absolutely nothing. You never leave the house and he never buys you coffee or takes you out dancing. The more you tolerate that, the more he’s going to think it’s okay. Eventually, you’ll even think that’s okay. You deserve a legitimate date, so don’t sell yourself short.
  5. Accept the way that he doesn’t support you He’s the most disengaged human on the planet when you’re trying to tell him about your promotion at work. If you’re involved in a sport, don’t dare ask him if he wants a season schedule. When you volunteer at a soup kitchen with your church, he sure as heck isn’t coming out to support you. If he doesn’t support what you’re passionate about, then he’s not passionate about you. Never choose to sit at home with him all day instead of chase down your dreams. Just remember, that’s a big sellout for someone who isn’t worth it.
  6. Justify why he never plans to move out of his parents’ basement “I mean, it’s FREE.” If that’s always the dead end of the conversation about why he doesn’t move out, then it’s time for you to move on. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great when his parents can help him save a little money while he’s trying to find an apartment or earn enough money to put a down payment on a nice home. But, if there’s never any mention of him leaving his parents’ house, then he probably isn’t going anywhere. Ever.
  7. Push away the thought that this relationship isn’t going anywhere Odds are, you know this relationship is pointless. That thought has crossed your mind more than once, so don’t ignore it. Sure, it’s hard to walk away from someone when you’ve invested to much time and emotions into them, but it’s even harder to find yourself after you’ve lost who you were for the sake of a guy.
  8. Pick up his careless outlook on everything You can’t ever enjoy deep talks with him about his future plans and his big goals in life because he doesn’t have any. Conversations revolve around small talk and surface level topics. The two of you can never go and do anything special, so outings revolve around putting gas in his car and picking up a pizza. After a while, you’ll forget what it’s like to have meaningful conversations or to enjoy a simple night out. His careless outlook on everything will rub off on you if you don’t watch out.
  9. Wake up and realize that you don’t even know yourself anymore After you change your outlook on everything, you’ll change who you are. That’s just how it works. It won’t matter that he has pretty green eyes if he doesn’t see what all he’s missing out on in life. It won’t matter if he dresses well when he can’t even clean up for a decent job. Those little things that you liked about him will be overshadowed by the big stuff, like his character. And in the process of hanging on to the pretty little nothings, you will lose who you were. And no guy is worth that—especially one who won’t get off the couch.
Jesus lover/weight lifter/pretend baker