Most of us grow up believing in fairytale happy endings, but once we come face to face with the harsh realities of today’s dating world, lasting love seems all but impossible. Thankfully, with the right guy, it IS possible—but it does take some serious work. Here’s how I keep the magic alive with my guy.
- We don’t vent about our relationship to people. It’s natural to want to talk about my relationship problems with my girlfriends. If something’s bothering me, I appreciate my friends’ advice since it helps give me perspective or feel vindicated in my thoughts and feelings. The downside of that is I’ve allowed others to have an opinion or say on my relationship. By limiting the sharing of the sordid details of my relationship, their opinions can’t dictate how I feel about my relationship or make me resentful towards my guy based on the opinions of others.
- Date night is a must. Most people hear “date night” and they roll their eyes or sigh at the thought of having to make plans. It’s just an excuse to eat expensive food and drink overrated wine to some, but date night is essential to my relationship. We need that time to disconnect from the world and remember that our relationship is a priority. It’s done wonders for keeping us connected.
- We say “I love you” every day. This is probably the most important thing I can do in my relationship—telling my boyfriend that I love him every day, no matter what. Most relationships start to fall apart from one person not feeling appreciated or loved. Those three little words may seem totally inconsequential but they’re anything but. It makes me feel so good when to hear it and it makes me feel good when I say it. It creates a security and comfort with each other.
- Random acts of kindness go a long way. The best relationship advice I’ve EVER received is to always do what your partner asks. At first I thought, “WTF is this person thinking?! I’m not bowing down to my partner.” However, I’ve now realized that whoever came up with that saying might be onto something. It’s not the action that matters, it’s the gesture. It’s important for my partner to feel like he can rely on me, ask me for help, or see that I’m willing to help. I mean, do I want to help him clean his apartment? Uh, no, but I know the gesture will go a long way.
- We barely text each other. Texting kills the romance. Though the “good morning” and “thinking about you” text messages are nice, texting can damage a relationship if things become too dependent on it. With my current guy, we’ve never made it a thing. We immediately started calling each other instead of having frivolous text messages back and forth. At first I hated it—was he uninterested? Was he dating someone else? In that moment, I realized how much I depended on a text message to validate my feelings and I never want to do it again.
- Space makes us closer. In the past, I wanted to spend every second I could with my partner. Now, I’m smart enough to know that space really does make our relationship stronger. We have time to focus on ourselves and do things outside our relationship that fulfill us, and in turn, we enjoy time together more than we ever did. The time we do spend together is quality time—it isn’t forced or mundane.
- We sleep naked together every night. This is the cure for any relationship! Besides the obvious reasons, sleeping naked is the best way to grow closer (no pun intended). It’s the best cure for an argument, the best way to reset the day and reconnect with each other, and the best way to see how easy to is to fall in love with him every day.