It’s Been Forever Since We Split — Just Be Normal Around Me Already

We dated in the past but our love story didn’t end with happily ever after. We were no fairytale romance, and though I was heartbroken when we broke up, I’m over it. That was years ago, so after all this time, why do you still act so weird around me?

  1. You broke up with me. If anything, I should be the one acting odd here. Did you think that after you broke up with me that we’d never see each other again, given how small this town is? I’m still here and I’m not leaving just because you broke my heart years ago. If I got over you, I think you should be able to get over this awkwardness.
  2. We’ve both moved on. You’ve had different girlfriends over the years and I’ve had some serious relationships myself, so I think it’s pretty clear we’ve both moved past our former puppy love. I’m in a fully committed relationship now with the man of my dreams and you’re serious with someone else too. So if we’ve both moved on, why are things still weird?
  3. I don’t have any hard feelings toward you. I don’t hate you. I don’t wish you eternal misery. In fact, I hope you find “The One” just like I have. Sure, for a while after we broke up, I hated you for breaking my heart and for the fact that I still loved you, but I don’t feel that way anymore. I’ve made peace with our breakup. I just wish we could make peace with each other.
  4. Sometimes I wonder if you still have feelings for me. Or maybe you’re worried those feelings you did have for me would come back if you acted normal around me. That’s the only explanation I can fathom as to why you act so incredibly bizarre around me when our breakup was so long ago. If it’s not that, if you’re totally over me, then honestly, what’s your problem?
  5. We’re always going to have mutual friends. They don’t need to worry about us both being at the same place at the same time. No one “won” them in our breakup. We’re both still friends with them and they shouldn’t have to choose between us. So for their sake (and our own), let’s stop making things so awkward — or else they’ll stop wanting to hang out with either of us and I wouldn’t really blame them…
  6. We can be mature about this. We dated, and being exes can be awkward, but it was so long ago that this awkwardness between us should have faded by now. I’m not saying that we need to have long conversations but we don’t need to ignore each other or avoid each other at all costs. You don’t need to leave a room when I walk into it, that’s just childish.
  7. We’ve accepted that we weren’t right for each other. We could get down into the nitty-gritty of why exactly things didn’t work out between us, but the bottom line is that we just weren’t right for each other. We may have loved each other once, but it wasn’t the type of love that lasts forever. We didn’t make each other happy, so there’s no anger here, we just weren’t compatible and that’s okay.
  8. I have no hopes of us getting back together. If that’s what you’re afraid of, there’s no need to worry. You don’t need to be concerned that talking to me will make me think you’re interested again. Even if you were interested, I wouldn’t care. I’m with a man I love and he’s perfect for me. I don’t want you back. All I want is for things to stop being so damn awkward.
  9. We were so young when we dated. Our relationship would be insignificant if it weren’t for the fact that we were each other’s first loves. We dated way back when and broke up after just a couple years, but you still you can’t seem to be yourself around me. I think it’s about time that we both grow up and with that maturity finally act normal when we’re together.
  10. The problem isn’t me. It’s you. You’re the one who’s acting strange and making things awkward AF, not me. I try to say hi and be courteous but I don’t try to force a conversation with you. I’m just acting normal. We dated so long ago that we don’t even know each other now and that’s why I don’t feel like things need to be weird. Obviously, you feel differently and I can’t seem to understand why.
  11. We don’t need to be friends. Things could at least be civil though and a hell of a lot less awkward. I’m not asking for us to go back to the friendship we had before we ever dated, I just want it to not be awkward when we’re both at the same party, get together, or event. I don’t want to be friends, but I do want to be civil. Is that really too much to ask?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.