You don’t want to waste your time on someone you can’t see a future with. To avoid that, you have to be thoughtful in your dating choices. Instead of going on a date and automatically agreeing to another rendezvous, take some time to reflect on your emotions. After your first date, ask yourself these 11 questions to make sure you’re actually interested (and not just bored or sexually attracted).
Did They Make Me Feel Special?
They weren’t staring at their phone or looking around the room for a distraction — their focus was on you. They asked questions and listened when you spoke. Not once did you feel uninteresting, sexualized, or mistreated. Instead, you felt special and that’s how you should feel after a first date.
How Many Times Did I Check My Phone?
Did your phone usage skyrocket during your date? That’s not a good sign. Maybe you were nervous and checked your phone out of habit… or maybe you were bored as hell and used Instagram as a much-needed distraction. Was it the latter? Don’t schedule a second date if you spent the first glued to your phone!
Am I Ready To Start Dating Again?
This is a very important question to ask yourself. If you’re not ready to have a relationship, you shouldn’t be going on a second date (let alone a first date). Be honest with yourself so you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. It’s better to say “no” earlier than a couple of months down the road.
Did They Communicate Effectively?
You can’t always know someone’s communication style after the first date. You can, however, notice red flags that could prove they’re a sh*tty communicator. Are they uncomfortably shy? Rude to strangers? Do they seem reluctant to share basic information? Sorry, but there’s no reason there should be a second date if you struggled to connect on the first.
Were They Nice To Everyone?
Did they treat the waiter like crap? Next. There’s nothing more offensive than someone who’s rude to strangers for absolutely no reason. You don’t want to go on a second date with someone like that, regardless of whether or not they’re nice to you. If they can’t be kind for the sake of being kind that’s probably because they’re an a-hole in disguise. Run!
Do I Want More Than Sex?
Were you focused on their words or the way their lips moved when they spoke? If all you paid attention to was their body, you probably shouldn’t go on a second date. But, they’re hot!!! I get it. But there needs to be more than physical. If you only like their looks, you’ll be bored in less than a week.
Did They Ask The Right Questions?
You had their attention from start to finish and they asked questions that really mattered. You talked about your career, family, and friends. You could tell they wanted to get to know you on a deeper, emotional level. Don’t get me wrong, there was probably a physical attraction, but it was also more than that. You felt seen. How many dates have you been on where you felt that way? Exactly.
Are They Different Than My Exes?
It’s too early to know if they’re different, but you should be able to tell if they’re the same as your exes. There were red flags with all your previous relationships, right? You just chose to ignore them. Instead of pretending to be oblivious, pay attention this time. Say “no” to a second date if anything about them seems terribly familiar.
What Was Their Eye Color?
First dates are about communicating and looking into each other’s eyes. You don’t remember the color of their eyes? That means you weren’t engaged or interested. Not to sound harsh, but if you weren’t interested during the first meet-up, you probably won’t be interested during the second.
How Many Times Did I Smile?
A good sign you should go on a second date is if you really enjoy your first date. Did you smile, laugh, and have a great time? Those are signs of a successful first date (which isn’t very common in this day in age). We’re not saying you found your soulmate, but they definitely deserve additional time and attention.
What Would My Friends Think?
You know you shouldn’t, but sometimes you put your friends’ opinions over your own. It might not be a good thing, but it is what it is. That’s exactly why you should be asking this question. Would your friends like them or would they instantly tell you to run? You know your friends and chances are, you have a good idea of what they’d say. Consider their words closely.
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