Dating can be fun and carefree, but once you get emotionally invested in a guy, all bets are off. Suddenly, feelings are involved and you’re vulnerable. You could get hurt, and you very well might be if things don’t work out. Love is always worth the risk, of course, but before you put yourself in a position to have your heart broken, consider these things to determine whether it’s a good idea.
- Is he mature enough for a real relationship? You might be ready to get into a committed relationship with a long-term partner and hopefully build a life together, but he is on the same page? There’s no point in getting emotionally invested in a guy who’s still content playing the field and who would prefer to keep it casual and “go with the flow.” That’s not to say that he needs to get down on bended knee and propose a month into the relationship, but if he’s not interested in anything serious and you are, save yourself the trouble.
- Does he want the same things as you? It goes without saying that in addition to wanting a committed relationship, he needs to actually agree with you on the big picture. If you want to spend time traveling before having kids and buying a house while he’s content staying in your hometown but thinks kids are annoying and marriage is pointless, it’s never going to work out.
- Does anything about his behavior seem off? Never, ever get emotionally invested in a guy who is displaying red flags when you first start dating. If anything seems like it’s just not quite right — his stories don’t line up, he’s super shady, you find out he’s lied to you, etc. — when you need to end things immediately rather than wasting your time and potentially getting played.
- Are you giving more than you’re getting? While relationships won’t always be 50/50 — life happens and sometimes one partner needs to step up to the plate a bit more — it should generally be an equal effort from both people. If this isn’t happening from the beginning and you find that you’re the one doing the chasing, putting in all the effort, and pulling all the weight, it’s pretty clear that becoming emotionally invested is a very bad idea.
- Can you actually see a future with him? You’re not a teenager anymore and chances are you’re now dating to marry, or at least dating to settle down. That means that if you can’t see a future with a guy, you’re wasting your time with him. Only go for people you can actually envision being in your life long-term. That’s the only way you’ll find the happiness you’re looking for and the love you deserve.