Relationships thrive when both people put in effort, care, and consideration. But when one person carries all the weight while the other barely lifts a finger, it creates an unhealthy imbalance. If you constantly feel like you’re the only one trying, making plans, and keeping the relationship alive, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate. Here are X signs your relationship is one-sided and what you can do to bring back the balance.
1. You’re Always The One Making Plans
If you didn’t reach out, would they? If every dinner, weekend trip, or date night happens only because you made the effort, that’s a problem. A relationship should feel mutual, not like you’re dragging someone along just to spend time together. According to Psychology Today, “If you’re always the one initiating plans and your partner rarely, if ever, suggests activities or dates, it could be a sign of a one-sided relationship.”
Making plans should be a shared effort. If you find yourself always booking reservations, suggesting activities, or making sure you get quality time together while they just show up, take a step back. Let them initiate for once and see what happens. If they don’t step up, you have your answer about where you stand.
2. You’re Always Listening To Their Problems
Being supportive is a key part of a relationship, but not when it’s completely one-sided. If every conversation revolves around their stress, frustrations, and challenges, while your struggles barely get acknowledged, you’re not a partner—you’re their therapist. As reported by Verywell Mind, “In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel comfortable sharing their problems and offering support to each other.”
Healthy relationships require emotional reciprocity. If they never ask how you’re doing or offer support when you need it, start setting boundaries. Your emotional needs matter just as much as theirs. If they can’t make space for you, then maybe they don’t deserve your constant support either.
3. Your Relationship Depends On Their Schedule
Are you always rearranging your plans to fit into their life while they never adjust for you? If every hangout, trip, or quality time depends on when it’s convenient for them, but they never do the same for you, that’s a major red flag. The Gottman Institute notes that “In a healthy relationship, both partners make an effort to accommodate each other’s schedules and needs.”
A balanced relationship means mutual prioritization. If they always expect you to accommodate them while they refuse to do the same, it’s time to stop adjusting your life for someone who wouldn’t do the same for you. Your time is valuable, and it’s okay to demand respect for it.
4. You’re The Only One Who Checks In First
If you stopped texting, would they ever reach out? A one-sided relationship often means you’re always the one initiating conversations, checking in, and making sure you stay connected, while they just respond when it’s convenient. Relationship experts at Bustle suggest that “If you’re always the one initiating contact and your partner rarely reaches out first, it could be a sign that you’re more invested in the relationship.”
Love isn’t about constantly chasing someone’s attention. If they only talk to you when you make the effort, take a step back and see what happens. If they disappear, then they were never really invested to begin with.
5. You Hype Them Up But They Don’t Do The Same For You
You celebrate their successes, support their dreams, and remind them how amazing they are. But when you need a little encouragement, they barely acknowledge it or brush it off like it’s not a big deal.
A good partner builds you up, not just the other way around. If you’re always the cheerleader but never get the same energy back, it’s time to reconsider whether they truly appreciate you.
6. You Know All Their Favorite Things But They’re Stumped When It Comes To You
You remember their coffee order, their favorite childhood memory, and all the little details they casually mention. But when it comes to you? They don’t know—or worse, they don’t seem to care.
Love is in the details. If they never take the time to truly know you, that’s not an oversight—it’s a lack of effort. A partner who cares will pay attention, and if they don’t, you’re giving your time to someone who isn’t invested in really knowing you.
7. You’re Expected To Drop Everything For Their Problems
When they’re stressed, they expect you to drop everything and listen, but when you need support, they’re suddenly too busy. If your emotions are never given the same weight as theirs, you’re not in a partnership—you’re in an emotional service role.
Your feelings are just as valid as theirs. If they can’t show up for you the way you show up for them, start matching their energy. You deserve emotional support, not just to be someone else’s outlet.
8. You’re In Charge Of Planning Vacations
Every trip you’ve taken together? You planned it. From researching flights to booking hotels, creating an itinerary, and making sure everything runs smoothly, it all falls on you while they just show up.
Planning vacations should be a joint effort. If they can’t be bothered to put in the work, try handing over the responsibility and see if they step up. If they don’t, it’s clear they take your effort for granted.
9. You Tailor Conversations To Their Interests
Every discussion revolves around their hobbies, their opinions, and their favorite topics. But the second you bring up something that excites you, they lose interest or change the subject.
Conversations should be balanced. If they don’t engage with what matters to you, they’re showing you that they don’t see your interests as valuable. Relationships should involve mutual curiosity, not just one person dominating the discussion.
10. You’re Always The One Who Ends Up Apologizing
No matter what happens, you’re the one who smooths things over. Even when they’re in the wrong, they find a way to turn it around on you until you’re apologizing just to keep the peace.
Apologies should be mutual. If they never take accountability, you’re dealing with someone who refuses to own up to their mistakes. A partner who truly cares will recognize when they’ve hurt you instead of making you feel guilty for calling it out.
11. You’re Always The One Reminding Them About Important Dates
You never forget their birthday, their big work deadline, or their family’s special occasions. But when it comes to things that matter to you? They need constant reminders or forget altogether.
It’s not about having a perfect memory—it’s about making an effort. If they never take the time to acknowledge the things that are important to you, they’re not prioritizing the relationship the way you are.
12. You’re The Only One Who Makes Thoughtful Gestures
Every time you get them a gift, it’s meaningful and personal. But when they give you something (if they do at all), it’s last-minute and thoughtless. The effort is completely one-sided.
It’s not about the gift itself—it’s about the thought behind it. If they can’t even put in minimal effort to make you feel special, they’re showing you how little they value your happiness.
13. You Constantly Make Excuses For Their Behavior
When they disappoint you, you find yourself defending them. “They’re just busy.” “They didn’t mean it.” “That’s just how they are.” Instead of holding them accountable, you justify their lack of effort.
Love shouldn’t be built on excuses. If you have to constantly rationalize why they treat you poorly, it’s time to ask yourself why you’re tolerating it. A real partner puts in the effort without needing excuses.
