Dating is hard enough these days without obnoxious trends sprouting up on a near daily basis to make things even worse. If you’re looking for love on dating apps, you don’t just need to worry about ghosting and catfishing, now you have to be on the lookout for beige flags. If anything is going to make you feel like giving up on dating forever, it’s this.
What are “beige flags”?
Red flags are easy enough to identify — they’re extremely problematic behaviors or signs that someone is unstable, dangerous, or totally toxic. When you spot them, you know to steer clear of the person altogether. Alternatively, green flags are positive signs that make someone seem like an even better catch. For instance, if they’re super consistent, always treat you with respect and dignity, and are open and transparent about everything in their lives, they’re generally great signs. Beige flags fall in the murky in-between.
Beige flags are so insidious particularly because they’re so vague and hard to identify. However, you’ve likely come across millions of them in your time on dating apps. For instance, if a guy’s profile reads that he loves to travel and hates pineapple on pizza, you can safely mark those as beige flags and pretty much assume it’s a no-go. In essence, beige flags are really vague, boring, and unoriginal responses that literally tell you nothing about the person behind them and instead paint them as bland, uninspired, and kinda lame.
Where did the term come from and why is this so prevalent?
- The term was coined by TikToker Caitlin MacPhail. The self-proclaimed CEO of beige flags, Caitlin went viral in early 2022 after she took to the social media platform to share all the generic phrases and answers she comes across time and time again on dating apps. “If someone has a lot of beige flags on their profile, you’ll probably get to the end of it without having really learned anything about them,” she tells Mashable.
- What are some of the most popular beige flags? While the exact beige flags will vary depending on the person, there are some that are so widespread that the rarity would be not coming across them somewhere. “Something about whether chocolate belongs in the fridge or the cupboard, them saying that they’ll probably love their dog more than you, or lots of gym selfies and references to the gym are typical beige flags,” she says. References to mainstream sitcoms like Parks & Recreation or The Office as well as statements like “the way to my heart is through food” are also considered beige flags.
- They’re making finding love even harder. The problem with beige flags isn’t that they’re overtly toxic but rather that they’re so bland that they literally tell you nothing about the person. That’s not to say that someone can’t like something that’s mainstream or “basic” but rather that if these things are considered the most interesting parts of someone’s personality, it begins to become a problem. Sure, there are plenty of people to match with, but if they’re all one big sea of beige “blah,” what’s the point?
- Beige flags send the wrong message. In addition to being totally unoriginal, beige flags also tell the people reading your profile that you didn’t really care enough to put much thought into it. After all, very little effort goes into saying that you love dogs or traveling or that you’re a “major foodie.” It sends the message that you believed the bare minimum was good enough and that they should just accept it, despite the fact that you’ve done nothing to try and stand out from the crowd and show off the things that make you different and special.
- They’re the result of a tumultuous dating scene. Caitlin admits that while coming across beige flags on dating apps drives her (and many other women) insane, she sees why they’ve become so popular. “A lot of people struggle to get their personality across on dating apps because it’s become a bit cringe to be authentic or vulnerable,” she explains. “It’s easier to put what you think people will want to hear, especially when it feels almost competitive on dating apps — it makes sense that people want to play it safe with their profiles.”
How to avoid displaying beige flags on your own dating profiles
- Highlight your USPs. Everyone has a unique selling point (or several) that makes them stand out from other people. What’s something that’s happened to you, that you enjoy, or that you’ve done that’s completely off the wall and not at all common? Share that with the world. The more interesting you appear, the more likely you are to get interest from matches.
- Change up your photos. As Caitlin advises, posting one profile photo where you’re in with a group of guys or girls is not going to cut it. You should add a few different photos of you in different scenarios to show the varied aspects of your life. This will show you as more genuine and more intriguing to potential partners.
- Don’t worry about being weird. Sometimes weirder is better. People who have been using dating apps for a while now have seen so many beige flags (and plenty of red) that they’re starving for something different, no matter how odd it may seem. If it’s meant to be, being your naturally quirky self will be an asset, not a turn-off.
