Most people think the cool girls have it all—you’re smart, funny, beautiful, the whole package. Every guy wants to date you and every girl wants to be your friend. But you may actually have a hard time finding love in large part due to the qualities that make you so attractive in the first place. Here’s why being the cool girl might be making you undatable:
Guys are intimidated by you. You have a powerful vibe. You seem effortlessly confident and in control, which can be intimidating for a lot of guys. Most dudes expect you to be going crazy over them and to be constantly trying to get their attention, but you’re too cool for that. You have plenty of other priorities. You let men come to you, but some of them are just too in awe of you to try.
You’re too relatable. For some reason, guys expect us to be totally mysterious and incapable of understanding them. It’s just another one of those weird and inaccurate stereotypes that we women deal with on a daily basis. But this stereotype is especially true for the ridiculously gorgeous and alluring girls. When a guy meets a girl who’s perfect in every way and she can carry on a normal conversation with them, they freak out and don’t know if they’re supposed to put you in the GF category or the BFF category.
They automatically assume they’re friend-zoned. The fact that you make friends with guys easily may actually be hurting your chances at dating them. They just assume that if their relationship with you is easy, it must be because you’re not attracted to them in a sexual way. And they’re actually okay with it, because you’re cool AF, and being friends with you is way better than nothing.
They’re afraid of your squad. You have so many friends that you’re rarely on your own, no matter where you go. A lot of guys find this hard to deal with when they want to flirt with you. They’re already so nervous about coming up to you that having to do it in front of your squad is just a little too much for them to handle, especially if you were to end up not being interested in them.
They think you aren’t interested. Guys actually find it easier to flirt with girls who are shy and nervous around them. And a lot of girls are taught that they have to bend over backward (hopefully not literally, at this stage) to get a guy to be interested in them. But you’re not about that—you just do your thing. Even when you’re around a guy you’re really into, you’re still cool AF about it, and some guys interpret this as indifference.
They don’t want to risk losing your friendship. If you’ve ever been in love with or attracted to one of your friends, you’ll know this feeling. Guys worry that if they ask you out, they’ll have crossed the point of no return. If you turn them down and the friendship gets awkward, they’ll lose their relationship with you, and that’s so much worse than keeping their attraction to you a secret.
Even the confident guys don’t know how to handle you. Some guys find it really confusing to meet a girl who is really down to earth and doesn’t give a crap if you like him or not. It’s sexy as hell, but they don’t know how to go about getting your attention when you have better things to do than hang on their every word or try to laugh at all their attempts at humor. Basically, you’re exactly what every guy wants but is too afraid to approach.
Everyone assumes you’re already dating someone way cooler than them. The idea of you being single is ridiculous to most people. Why wouldn’t the coolest girl who everyone loves and wants to hang out with have a boyfriend? It just seems like a no-brainer. And no matter how attracted to you a guy is, he can’t stand the thought of having you tell him you’re already with someone because it would just make him feel like an idiot, especially when he knows that any guy you’re dating must be incredible. Because of course someone like you could only be taken by someone as amazing as you.
Being rejected by you is literally their worst nightmare. No matter how confident a guy might seem, most of them are just as terrified of rejection as women are. And sometimes, the idea of getting turned down or pitied by a girl as sexy and fun and down to earth as you is just too much for them to handle, and they choose to hide their feelings.
You’re too good to be true. No one can believe that you’re actually the full package. You’re so down to earth and fun and popular that guys just look at you from a distance and convince themselves that there has to be a catch somewhere. No one can be that perfect. Being too good to be true probably gets old sometimes, but let’s face it, it’s not a bad problem to have.
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