Being Ghosted Sucks, But Don’t Let It Kill Your Hope Of Finding Love

Being Ghosted Sucks, But Don’t Let It Kill Your Hope Of Finding Love ©iStock/filadendron

Finding love is tough, especially now that ghosting is so common. You might think things are going super well with a guy, only to have him totally ice you out and disappear from your life out of nowhere. WTF? It might seem like a pretty hopeless situation, but you can still succeed in love in the age of ghosting if you play it right.

  1. Stop being shocked that it happens. This is literally the first step to winning the dating game every single time. If you freak out and cry very time you get ghosted, you’ll never survive. So accept that it happens to everyone and stop being surprised.
  2. Don’t take it personally. You may think ghosting is your fault, but why would it be? You’re a strong, amazing woman and any guy would be super lucky to be with you. It’s totally his issue if he can’t handle you. There are so many reasons a guy ghosts: he’s scared of emotional intimacy, he’s immature, he realizes you’re too good for him… and none of those have anything to do with you.
  3. Know what you want. If you’re honest with yourself and who you’re dating, you’ll never get bugged by ghosting. If you want a relationship and the guy couldn’t care less, you’re free to move on, and that’s awesome.
  4. Pick your battles. Sometimes you feel comfortable telling a guy that you really like him, and other times you cut your losses and figure things aren’t going anywhere. To win at ghosting, you have to know when to speak up and when to get over it.
  5. Keep perspective. This is just one guy. There are tons of them in the world. It doesn’t really matter if you’re not living happily ever after with this one person, because you’ll find someone that’s perfect for you — it just might take a while.
  6. Don’t text all the time. It hurts so much more when a guy ignores you when you’ve been chatting via your iPhones 24/7. Cut back on the constant texting and you won’t feel like he’s been such a big part of your life when he suddenly disappears.
  7. Live your own life. Of course you want to be in your happy bubble with a new guy, but if you do that and he bails on you after a few dates, then you’ll be way more upset. Keep living your own life and separating yourself a bit from your budding relationship, and you won’t feel such a huge loss if you get ghosted.
  8. Have The Talk ASAP. Sure, maybe two dates is way too early, but if you don’t want to get ghosted out of nowhere, then it might not be the worst idea to figure out where you stand as soon as you possibly can. He might totally freak out, and then at least you know what’s up. Wouldn’t you rather he tell you to your face that he’s not into you, rather than staring at your iPhone for a text that never comes?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.