Being Single Was Fun But Now I’m Over It—Where Are All The Great Guys?

When my last relationship ended, I was actually really eager to get back on the dating scene. Being single sounded super fun to me—I could go out to clubs with my friends, finally see what Tinder is all about, and just start fresh. It was awesome at first, but now that a whole year has gone by, the novelty has worn off and I think I’m ready for a relationship again.

  1. I’m tired of going out. I’ve always been a bit of a homebody, but ever since I’ve been single, I’ve forced myself to go out several times a week because that’s just what single people do, right? It was fun in the beginning but I’m honestly almost at my limit. I’d much rather cuddle with my lover than pass out drunk on my bed and wake up shivering. I’m ready for a change.
  2. Online dating is starting to lose its novelty. When my last relationship ended, I was like a kid in a candy store, swiping day and night, getting high on the attention I was getting. It felt good at first to have a pretty much bottomless pit of guys to date, but after a few months of going on dates that didn’t pan out, I began to feel defeated and started wishing I didn’t have to go through this BS just to find a boyfriend.
  3. It’s starting to get sad. When I first became single, I felt reborn. I felt like the whole world was my oyster. I fully embraced single life and did all the things a singleton is supposed to do—I went out dancing with my friends, went on dates with guys I met online, took a chance on guys who randomly asked me out, and even hooked up with some randoms. It was fun and I felt a new found freedom that I didn’t have when I was in a relationship, but it’s starting to lose its thrill. There comes a point when being single should end, otherwise, what am I even doing?
  4. Hooking up with randoms makes me feel empty inside. Casual sex no longer feels sexy and dangerous—more like used and rejected. After a few hookups, I began to look for potential long-term partners and was often rejected because the guy was only looking for, well, a hookup. I used to skip home on cloud nine after sex, but I think I’ve reached my threshold. I don’t want to be the girl who guys only use for sex, I want to be their girlfriend. Sigh…
  5. Most of the time, I just end up drinking at home alone. People like to portray single-dom as being this awesome, non-stop party, but honestly, most of the time it’s just me browsing through Instagram and drinking wine all by myself. Not exactly the kind of fantasy life it’s made out to be.
  6. All of my “single” friends are getting boyfriends. I’m starting to run out of single friends and I think that’s a very clear sign that I should be partnering up soon. When I first became single, all of my other single friends came out of the woodwork and they became my main circle. Unfortuantely, that circle is getting smaller and smaller and pretty soon it’s just gonna be me.
  7. I get bitter when I see happy couples. You know you’re done being single when you start hating on a couple for merely holding hands. When I first started my journey as a single lady, I was filled with hope for my future. I would look at other couples and think, “That’ll be me one day.” Now I just roll my eyes when I see a happy couple in public and think about how inconsiderate they’re being by blocking the whole sidewalk.
  8. People are starting to ask me why I’m still single. I’m starting to get hints from my friends that it’s time for me to find a guy, mostly because it’s the only thing they talk about when I’m around. They’ll be like, “How long have you been single again?” or “Why haven’t you found anyone yet?” Dudes, I’m trying! I’m tired of coming up with excuses and I think that’s a sure sign that this single stint needs to come to an end.
  9. I’m done “focusing on myself.” In the beginning, I would often say that I’m not ready for a relationship or that I only wanted to focus on myself right now, which was actually totally true at the time. I really did feel that way, but now that I’ve been single for basically a year, I’m done figuring myself out. I’m ready to give my love and attention to someone else.
  10. It’s not cute anymore. I used to feel like a hot commodity when I first entered the singles dating scene. I would walk down the street and think, “Get in line, boys.” However, that attitude has worn off. Now I’m thinking, “Why doesn’t anyone want to date me?” I’m starting to get desperate and that’s not cute.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.