Sure, I’ve been in love and almost in love and had more dates than I want to count, but for the most part, it’s just been me. I know I’m not alone in that — I have plenty of friends who are in the same position, and we’re fine just how we are. Here’s why I’m not ashamed of being forever single (and you shouldn’t be either):
- You’ve gone through a lot. From getting through grad school to health issues to starting my freelance career, I’ve done a lot of living and learning in the past few years. Sure, maybe it would have been nice to have someone by my side during those tough and trying times, but I don’t care that I didn’t. I needed the alone time to focus on myself and figure stuff out.
- You’ve experienced love. I may have only fallen in love once, but it still totally counts, and it was pretty epic. I don’t regret that things ended because I needed to become the person that I am now and it would never have worked out. I don’t mind being on my own right now because I’ve been in love before and I know what it’s like. Better to have loved and lost, right?
- You’re still trying. My friends and family know that I’m the girl who will never, ever give up on love. I go on dates regularly and put myself out there and keep my head held high. Sure, sometimes I get super frustrated and aren’t always the picture of positivity, but those times are rare.
- You still have plenty of single friends. I totally know that if all my BFFs were in love or engaged, I might not be so proud of my solo status. But thankfully that’s not my reality. We’re going through the same stuff and can swap stories and give each other advice, and that really helps.
- You’ve built up your confidence. If I was super miserable and crying over my single life, that would be one thing. But I’ve basically never done that. I don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world and it doesn’t get to me very often. I’ve become pretty confident and am proud of who I am, with or without a guy.
- You don’t expect anything. This may sound kind of depressing, but it’s actually the total opposite. I don’t think that every guy who messages me on Tinder is going to ask me out or every date is going to go well. And that works for me. It helps me stay calm about everything.
- You have other goals. Sure, falling in love would be pretty great, but that’s not all that I want out of life. I have a full-time gig and a side hustle and all kinds of hopes and dreams and goals. They help me stay on track and get over any bad dates or almost connections.
- You’re way too happy. When people ask if it’s sad to be single or if dating’s tough, I remember that, oh yeah, some people really hate being on their own. But I’m honestly way too happy to spend even a second feeling sorry for myself.
- You’re growing up. I recently turned 27 and am now officially getting into my late 20s. I’ve spent this whole decade growing up and getting to know myself and becoming an adult (well, hopefully). It’s been so much easier to do this without the distraction and drama of a serious relationship.
- You don’t think it’s absolutely forever. I totally believe I will meet someone amazing and my life will change. When that’s going to happen is a total mystery, of course, and I try to tell myself that’s just part of the fun. Things change so much in anyone’s life so it seems crazy to think that my solo status wouldn’t eventually switch.
- You date differently now. I used to go out with anyone that I chatted with because going on the most dates possible seemed like the best idea. I always said I had fun, even if nothing could be further from the truth. I used any app and let creepy messages or cancelled plans upset me way too much. These days, I date totally differently. I’m calm, patient, and know that not every chat leads to a date… and not every date leads to anything at all. But it’s all good. Because while I wait for a cool guy, I’m having the best time ever.
