Being “The Other Woman” Isn’t Worth It, So Don’t Go There

Being “The Other Woman” Isn’t Worth It, So Don’t Go There ©iStock/Julia_Albul

Anyone who’s ever been in love can tell you that it seems like the meme is true: love is the feeling of common sense leaving your body. When you love somebody, your mind sometimes does silly things in an attempt to rationalize keeping him around (even if you know that’s a bad idea). This is especially true if your special someone has someone else. Whether his other relationship is serious or not, it can be hard to deal with when he’s saying sweet things to you one second and pretending you don’t exist the next. Unfortunately, if he hasn’t chosen you already, he probably never will. Let’s discuss some of the most sensible reasons to cut yourself free from that situation as soon as possible.

  1. He already made his decision, and it wasn’t you. There was a moment at some point during your friendship/relationship where he had to decide whether you were special enough to replace his wife/girlfriend. He decided you weren’t, but, in true male fashion, he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He’ll say sweet things to you when he wants something, but the relationship will always be on his terms. You deserve better than that, and quite frankly, so does she.
  2. Actions speak louder than words. He may tell you he loves you, but it’s a lie. Love is an action, not just a word. If he really loved you, he wouldn’t be able to be with someone else and only see you occasionally. Stop allowing him to emotionally manipulate you with lies.
  3. You need to respect yourself. It’s pretty low to use a woman’s emotions against her in order to use her as a disposable piece of ass. The type of guy who would do that is a lowlife to begin with, and he has no respect for you or any woman. Have respect for yourself by losing him and getting back to your life.
  4. You know you’re not happy with this arrangement. He may have manipulated you into thinking you have some sick obligation to be okay with this, but you don’t have to be. Deep down, you know this isn’t what you want. You deserve to fill your life with happiness and to be someone’s priority. Step one is taking out the trash.
  5. You don’t need a boyfriend. It’s been said over and over again, but it’s true. You can have a really terrific single life if you decide to. You’ll gain strength and learn a lot about yourself, which can only benefit you in future relationships. Come to the single side; we have cookies and wine!
  6. The fairy tale in your head probably wouldn’t have a happy ending anyway. In your head, you may have been picturing this perfect resolution where he leaves her, chooses you and runs toward you in slow motion on a beach or something. Well, here’s the reality. If he does leave her, you’ll have a guy who’s just been through a breakup and is probably going to have some not-so-magical second thoughts. You also have a known cheater, which means he’ll probably cheat on you too in the future if you give him the opportunity.
  7. Consider the other person he’s hurting. She’s probably not your favorite person in the world, but she’s a person who’s being treated badly and lied to by the same guy who’s emotionally manipulating you. You know how much that hurts. As women, we shouldn’t be fighting each other; we should be uniting with each other.

Emotion is a wonderful thing, until it causes us to lose sight of reality. If you take a deep breath, step back from your feelings and consider the situation from a logical perspective, staying in this kind of deceitful relationship is simply not an option.

Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.