Being A Woman Who Loves Sex Sounds Great, But It’s Really Frustrating AF

Being a dirty-minded woman who really loves sex is fun most of the time — we live an uninhibited lifestyle and appreciate opportunities to find pleasure anytime they present themselves. For women who truly love sex more than most, though, life does come with certain challenges and frustrations that can be hard to overcome. Here are just a few:

  1. It can be difficult to find a partner who wants it as often as we do. Just like we defy the myths about women having low libidos, there are plenty of guys in the world who don’t want to get it on every day, and that’s a problem for us. Even if we’re completely commitment-minded, we can’t commit ourselves to a relationship unless we’re reasonably certain we’ll be sexually satisfied.
  2. We have random fantasies at inopportune times. We’d love to be able to focus at 100% of our important meetings, but our minds inevitably wander sometimes at the most inopportune times, like at work. It’s like an internal civil war; our minds are trying to concentrate but our bodies are more interested in how it would feel to be thrown down on the desk in a moment of passion.
  3. We hear every innuendo, even if it’s unintentional. It’s so hard to live like this! We know the taste of blood from biting our tongues when others don’t find their gaffes as humorous as we do. It’s not that we’re immature — we just can’t help but notice a good suggestive pun or euphemism.
  4. We have to take care of ourselves a lot. Even if we’re in a relationship, we still have to “take matters into our own hands” when an itch arises and we need to scratch it. We can’t help it: we need pleasure like we need food — we can go without for a little while, but we’ll be miserable.
  5. Single life is an endless choice between a crappy dry spell or a potentially crappy hookup. Dry spells are the worst, but the only thing worse than a long dry spell is breaking that dry spell for a hookup that’s even worse than the complete absence of sex. As much as we hate going without the touch of another, we’d rather touch ourselves and guarantee satisfaction than give someone else the benefit of the doubt and end up terribly let down if they fail to please us.
  6. Playing the waiting game is really hard when we’re dating someone new. As much as we want to get some, we don’t want to be seen as cheap hookup material rather than serious girlfriend material. When we’re dating someone new, we feel like we’re supposed to withhold sex for awhile so he doesn’t see us as cheap or easy, someone he wants to have sex with and never call again. It’s BS to hold our high libidos against us; just because we love sex doesn’t mean we wouldn’t be amazing girlfriends or wives. In fact, we’re probably a better option for a long-term relationship because we won’t let the bedroom activity become dull, boring, or nonexistent, no matter how long we’re with the same person.
  7. We’re judged unfairly by other women too. We hate it when other women assume we’re promiscuous just because we love sex. We’re not trying to sleep with every guy in the tri-county area; we’re just trying to find one guy who complements us and our lifestyle and is capable of pleasing us long-term. Unfortunately, in order to find the one we’re looking for, we first have to deal with a lot of guys that aren’t worth our time.
  8. We’re not ashamed of who we are, but that doesn’t stop people from trying to shame us. Having a high libido is just a part of who are, and we like it. Slut-shaming us doesn’t make us think twice or want to change ourselves; it just makes you look like a loser. Having a high sex drive is nothing to be ashamed of, and we know it, so we refuse to be something we’re not. We know that we’ll meet someone who will appreciate everything we are and strive to please us every day.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.