I Believe In Second Chances, But Not For The Guy Who Dumped Me

Generally speaking, I’m a big believer in second chances. We’re all human and we all make mistakes, so an opportunity to make things right or prove yourself is always appreciated. Of course, there’s an exception to this rule—if a guy who dumped me wants another try at a relationship, he’s going to be disappointed because there’s no way in hell it’s happening.

  1. I can forgive but I don’t forget. I remember everything someone does to me, good or bad. I’d never be able to forget the pain by ex-boyfriend caused me when he left. Sure, I can forgive him for dropping me like a hot potato, but that doesn’t mean I could forget the gut-wrenching feeling of being dumped out of the blue. I wouldn’t be able to give my ex a second chance. How could I get back with someone who reminds me of the worst day of my life?
  2. He dumped me out of nowhere—who’s to say he wouldn’t do it again? It wasn’t like we’d been struggling to communicate with each other for a few months. We weren’t slowly drifting apart or starting to regret our relationship (at least I wasn’t). There was nothing happening and no warning signs that a breakup was on the horizon. He dumped me out of nowhere and I’ll never be okay with that. I’d never feel secure in our relationship because I’d always wonder if he was going to do the same thing again.
  3. He lied to me and that’s a big no-no. Lying is my biggest pet peeve, and saying something that’s untrue isn’t the only way someone can lie. A person can also be a liar by omitting the truth, and my ex-boyfriend was that kind of liar. Instead of telling me he wasn’t feeling the relationship, he kept acting as if he was for whatever demented reason he had. It’s not like he woke up one morning and decided to dump me. He knew what he was going to do long before he did it.
  4. He stopped loving me, so why would he suddenly start again? In his own words, “I love you, I just don’t love you like that anymore.” Oh yeah. You bet that broke my heart into little pieces, but it also taught me just how possible it is for someone to fall out of love with you. If he could fall out of love with me in our six-month relationship, what’s to stop him from falling out of love with me a few months after giving him a second chance? In fact, why would he fall back in love with me out of nowhere anyway? Something’s just not right.
  5. He tricked me into believing our relationship was secure. He acted like everything was fine. He told me he loved me every day, he took me out on dates, he spent time with my friends and family. The week before he broke up with me, he surprised me with a weekend getaway. A goddamn weekend getaway! Why would he butter me up like that only to leave me in the cold?! It’s as if he was playing a game and I can’t put up with that.
  6. My friends would (rightfully) freak out on me. Giving my ex one more chance probably wouldn’t piss my friends off as much as giving my ex three or four chances, but still. They watched me cry and listened to me vow to never, ever take him back! I’m not saying my friends would disown me for life if I gave my relationship another go but they certainly wouldn’t like it—and I wouldn’t blame them.
  7. He dated someone immediately after dumping me. I don’t believe my ex-boyfriend broke up with me for another girl—at least not specifically for that reason. In reality, I think he did it to sleep with as many other girls as he can. He clearly wanted to explore his options, and I know this because shortly after we broke up, he was exploring all kinds of options with the other random women who were suddenly in his life.
  8. People don’t change. They might grow and evolve but I don’t think they really change. If my ex broke up with me once to explore other options, there’s a good chance he’d do the same damn thing again in the future and I don’t want to put myself through that twice. I wouldn’t be able to trust him if we got back together. The entire relationship would consist of me second guessing every little move he made. No thanks.
  9. I deserve better. I deserve someone who stays. I deserve someone who’s not going to decide to end our relationship only to come crawling back months later for a second chance once they realize how good of a thing they had. I deserve someone who won’t ever need to ask for a second chance.
  10. There was a reason he dumped me. At the end of the day, all I have to say is this: Why on earth would I give someone who dumped me a second chance…to dump me? I know that sometimes, the timing isn’t always right and people have to fall apart to get back together, blah blah blah. I’ve heard all of that before and it sounds nice (in theory), but I don’t think a guy who dumped me out of nowhere deserves a second chance. If that means I’m going to end up alone, so be it.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.