If You Believe He’ll Leave Her For You, You’re In Denial

You’ve been playing the other woman for a while now not because you love being on the back burner but because you fully believe he’s going to leave his actual girlfriend to be with you. Maybe he’s told you as much or maybe you’re just feeling optimistic. Either way, you’re delusional.

  1. He’s just window shopping. He already has a girlfriend and he’s not in the market for another one. If he wanted to be in a real relationship with you, he’d have broken up with her first. Instead, he’s sticking with what’s comfortable and just playing with you on the side. He’ll never put his money where his mouth is.
  2. You’re just a dirty secret. It sucks, I know. You really like him but you’re only an afterthought to him, an option for when he’s bored and/or horny rather than his number one choice. You’ll never meet his friends or family. You’ll never get to have him by your side in public. His girlfriend is there and he never wants her to find out about you.
  3. The promises are lies. He may promise you the world, the future, and anything your heart desires, but he’s lying. You mean little to nothing to him, but he’ll just talk out of his ass just to keep you around. You’re putting out — he’ll do what it takes to keep getting laid. If you’re not sleeping with him and you’re still the other woman, you’re even more replaceable.
  4. There’s no future, so why stay? Having the potential for a real future together is key in any relationship — that’s why you get in one. Dating with the intent of creating a life with him is the end goal, as it should be. The trouble is, he already has that… with another woman. He goes home to see her and he sleeps next to her at night. He has his future planned out with her, not you (and considering that he’s such a dishonest jerk, that’s probaly for the best).
  5. Once you leave, he won’t miss you. He might beg you not to leave, but when you do, he definitely won’t beg you to come back. He can easily find someone to sleep with on the side; the woman he’s supposedly committed to is still right where she’s always been — at his side. Once things end between you, he doesn’t lose anything. It’s you that ends up hurt.
  6. There’s history with her — you have nothing. He and his girlfriend have a past, some kind of foundation on which their relationship is built, shaky though it may be. All you have with him is a fleeting fantasy. Why would he leave a girl he has everything with for a girl he knows he can just call when his partner’s out of town for a quick romp? Pretending otherwise is silly.
  7. This is not love. Yes, you both may claim that you love each other, but that’s a false feeling. Love is when you would do anything for that person. Love is wanting to give them every part of you. Love is honesty and trust. Considering how little respect and regard he shows for his partner, it’s clear that he doesn’t love anyone but himself. The sooner you accept that, the better.
  8. It’s lust, plain and simple. If the sex is passionate, it’s easy to delude yourself into thinking you’re connected or that he’s your soulmate. This isn’t the case. If it were, he wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone that isn’t you. You can have a connection in the bedroom that doesn’t leave that space, and that’s all that’s happening here — at least on his end.
  9. “What if?” is a waste of time. What if he does leave her for you? What if everything he said wasn’t a lie and he really does love you? Fine, consider the possibilities. Could you trust him and be willing to give your all to him? You know deep down inside you wouldn’t be able to have an actual relationship with him, so what’s the point?