Benching, Booty Calls & Other Mind Games Guys Play That You Shouldn’t Have To Deal With

Mind games make you feel like you’re at a masked ball, unsure of who the guy you’re dating really is. Unfortunately, way too many men still like to use them to get into your head, then into your bed. Be on the lookout for these common mind games players like to use, and make sure you know how to get the upper hand:

He benches youThings were going great, then the guy totally disappeared. He stopped taking your calls and texts, and you figured it was time to move on. Plot twist: he then returns, showing lots of interest in you all over again and seeming to mean it this time around. Sorry, but this guy came back to you because he’s run out of other options. Delete his digits — you’re a priority, not an option, and he shouldn’t ever think otherwise.

He’s a human roller coaster. He’s so into you one minute, then he’s completely disinterested the next. He’s charming and flirtatious, then he’s moody just moments later. WTF? The guy is clearly not sure how he feels about you. Pull away and force him to make the effort. He doesn’t deserve your energy until he proves that he’s worth it.

He likes to meet up spontaneously. Yeah, it sounds like fun to be spontaneous, and why shouldn’t you meet up up with that sexy guy who’s asking if you want to grab a late-night drink under the moonlight? Here’s why: if he only likes these spontaneous dates, he’s clearly only using you as a backup plan. Throw him a curve ball by telling him you’ve got plans. If he likes you enough, he’ll learn really quickly that he’s got to plan ahead to see you.

He throws on the charm too quickly. He’s clearly just hoping to get you into bed. It’s not normal for a guy to try to court you with so much fervor unless he’s running on a schedule to do you and dump you. Don’t fall for the charm and think that he’s going to be different from the rest. Play hard to get, safe in the knowledge that the right guy will take the time to chase you for more than your body.

He compliments you, then insults you. Yup, he’s bringing you up and then dragging you down to keep you on your toes. He’s so insecure that he hopes this will keep you hanging on for his attention. The best way to deal with it is to remain unaffected by what he says and show him that his asinine opinions don’t matter. It’ll drive him crazy.

He texts you, then bolts halfway through the conversation. This is so frustrating, so why does he do it? He’s clearly just bored or texting with the ulterior motive to see if you’re at his beck and call. It’s fine to chat to him if you like, but don’t hope for it to lead to anything. Most importantly, don’t text him to see why he’s gone AWOL. It’s better to hold onto your dignity and ignore him the next time he initiates contact.

He finds fault with you and your appearance but doesn’t dump you. This jerk is hoping you’ll get fed up and dump him, taking him off the hook of having to be the bad guy. Confront him and make it clear that you see through his crap. Oh, and then dump him.

He plays hard to get. He is interested in you, but doesn’t make it too obvious. He hints that he wants to date you, but then takes his sweet time before making a move. Honestly, he’s holding back in the hope that you’ll make the effort because he really doesn’t want to. Don’t give him what he wants. He’s got to man up or get out.

He acts like your boyfriend but gets weird when you talk about the future. He likes having you in his life now but doesn’t see long-term potential. But of course, he won’t blatantly say that because he’ll lose you. Don’t waste your time. If he can’t call you his GF and doesn’t include you in his future plans, your relationship is on borrowed time.

He seems to be literally everything you want. If a guy seems to be a little too perfect for you, warning bells should ring. He’s playing with you, hoping to come across as your perfect match until he can show you his true colors. By then, he’s hoping you’ll be hooked. Be wary of any guy who seems too good to be true — they usually are.

He accuses you of cheating when the idea is laughable. He’s actually doing this because either he’s cheating on you and wants to throw some guilt your way, or he’s thinking of cheating. Projection isn’t cute. Break up with this loser.

He says he wants to enjoy every minute with you and not rush. No, it’s not sweet. He doesn’t see long-term potential for your relationship. He’s hoping you’ll stick around for as long as it’s convenient for him without him having to be your BF. Tell him what you want, and if he can’t rise up to your standards, then GTFO before you get played.

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