One of my closest friends is a guy and I can’t imagine my life without him. He’s my rock and my partner and crime. However, he recently mentioned that he has sexual fantasies about me and I totally freaked out and never mentioned it again.
- He wasn’t ashamed, which was kinda obnoxious. It’s not like he brought it up because he had a confession to get off his chest. He was actually super nonchalant about it, almost like he was throwing it out there just to gauge my reaction. It was this sexual boldness that kind of pissed me off at first. Did he not think it was weird?
- I shouldn’t be surprised, I guess. According to a mutual friend, he was actually attracted to me back when we first met and before we really got to know each other. I never got the impression he was looking for more than friendship and I guess as we started to become better friends, any romantic potential was pushed to the wayside.
- Can men and women be just friends? I thought so. I bet at some point in every friendship you’ve had with a guy, you asked yourself if they’d make a good romantic partner. If the answer is no, that’s when they became a friend… In other words, they get friend-zoned. However, friends of the opposite sex are some of the most important people in your life. I was fine with us having a platonic relationship and preferred it that way. Why couldn’t that be good enough?
- I worried that I was somehow unwittingly leading him on. Now I feel like I can’t brush past him in the kitchen or call him up to share with him my latest news because he might think there’s some hidden meaning behind it. Yes, I’m comfortable around him and he’s important to me, but am I making it clear that we’re strictly friends?
- I must admit that we definitely have chemistry. We’re best friends, for goodness’ sake! I have to assure every new guy I start dating that my best friend isn’t a threat. When you see us hanging out together, you can definitely tell we have a connection and an intimate history. However, that shouldn’t imply any kind of romance between us—it doesn’t exist.
- He’s started to grab my butt—WTF? Look, if I wanted to feel like a piece of meat, I’d go to the dive bar down the road and bend over a pool table. My friends are supposed to value me beyond appearance. Pick my brain and grab my attention, but don’t touch my butt. In what universe does this seem appropriate?
- I feel bad for not feeling the same. I won’t lie, my best guy friend is GORGEOUS. I mean, he just landed a modeling gig in which he portrays an Olympic rower. Like I said, he’s a stud. However, I’ve never been physically attracted to him. My self-esteem can’t handle a hot boyfriend. Instead, I’m attracted to charisma and macho-ness, and believe it or not, he lacks both.
- I don’t want to be associated with the girls he sleeps with. I honestly can’t stand his dating life. The girls he brings around are annoying AF and his approach to sex is much more animalistic than mine. He’s constantly swiping right on Tinder while I’m out looking for an in-person connection. It turns me off in such a way that I don’t ever want to be a part of it.
- I know in my heart that he still values our friendship. My confidence took a bit of a hit and I immediately thought that perhaps the only reason he’s friends with me is that he’s still waiting to get me in bed. However, I truly know that he loves our friendship and if being honest about his fantasizes were to negatively affect us, he’d immediately do anything to keep our friendship secure—at least I hope so.
- In the end, he’s my best friend. No matter what he does or says, I’ll always support him and create space for his boyish behaviors. So what if he’s fantasized about me? We’re only human! I should be proud that our friendship is at a place where we can have this awkward dialogue, right?
