The Best Way To End A Relationship That Just Isn’t Working

The Best Way To End A Relationship That Just Isn’t Working ©iStock/hoozone

There are plenty of ways to dump someone. You could write a letter, send a text, or just straight up disappear, never to be heard from again. There’s even a company in Canada that will send a breakup Snapchat on your behalf for the low price of $5. The way you break up with someone should definitely be informed by the type and duration of your relationship, but in general, you can never really go wrong by just saying what you need to say. Sure, he might not like it, but he’ll appreciate your honesty. Here’s how to end a relationship that’s run its course:

  1. Don’t drag it out. Once you make the decision to end it, there’s no point in waiting. Sometimes we get so caught up in finding the “right time” to dump someone that we end up with them for months longer than necessary, and that’s not doing either one of you any favors.
  2. Don’t leave it open for interpretation. It can be tempting to keep someone on the hook just in case you change your mind and decide you want them back. Sometimes you don’t even realize you’re doing it, but it’s not fair to be wishy washy about a break up. If you want it to be final, you have to be 100% clear about that.
  3. Treat him how you’d want to be treated. If he was breaking up with you, you’d want him to be open, honest, and clear about it right? So, why wouldn’t you do the exact same thing for him?
  4. Save the low blows. There’s no reason to start criticizing every little thing you don’t like about him or bring up times he messed up. You aren’t his therapist, and chances are he won’t listen to you anyway, so keep the little digs to yourself.
  5. Don’t blame him for everything. Most of the time a relationship doesn’t work out because two people just aren’t compatible. There’s no way every fight you ever had was all his fault. It’s important to take some of the responsibility yourself, because no one’s perfect.
  6. Tell him why it isn’t working for you. The number one question people usually ask during a break up is “why?” Closure helps people move on and if they know why a relationship didn’t work out, whether it was something they could have controlled or not, it’ll give them a little bit of peace.
  7. Cut off contact, at least at first. If you want to eventually be friends, it’s probably best to take some time away from each other at first. That way you can distance yourself from any romantic feelings and give him the chance to do the same. Going straight from a relationship to a friendship can be confusing, and you don’t want to send any mixed messages.
  8. Don’t make it unnecessarily dramatic. Yelling and screaming at each other isn’t going to help even though it might feel good at the time. Sometimes staying calm is easier said than done, but if you go into it with a plan, you’ll have a better shot at saying what you need to say and getting out of there unscathed.
  9. Stick to your guns. If he doesn’t want to break up, he’s going to try to convince you to give him another chance. If you’ve already decided to end it and you’ve gotten this far, it’s pretty clear at the very least you need to take a break from the relationship. Don’t give in, because you’ll just end up back in the same place.
  10. Wish him the best. Just because he’s now your ex doesn’t mean you should want him to be anything but happy. Ya, it sucks when you see an ex move on to some other girl really fast, but ultimately it doesn’t really matter because you decided he wasn’t right for you. Time to move on.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.