The Best And Worst Things About Sleeping With Someone For The First Time

The first jaunt in the sack with a new partner can be pure magic but it can also be awkward AF. Here’s the long and (hopefully not) short of it:

  1. Best: You’re both still putting your best foot/appendage forward. It’s inevitable that some things fall by the wayside after you’ve been with someone for a while. You might mix it up less. Foreplay might become an afterthought. Maybe grooming is on an every-other schedule. One of the best things about sex with a new partner is that you both put more effort into the details. Presentation, execution, and follow up are usually all more thoughtful.
  2. Worst: You’re not as comfortable with him, so you may be more inhibited or nervous. There’s something wonderful about having a partner with whom you’re completely comfortable. You aren’t embarrassed to ask for what you want or try things outside of the box, so to speak. You don’t care what you look like with the light on or from a weird angle. It’s natural to feel some of the inverse with someone new. There could be a douchebag side to him that judges your body or ignores your needs. That fear can definitely hold us back in bed. Further still, your styles and preferences might be very different. That can make for a fun, new experience, or an early finish.
  3. Best: There’s so much to discover about each other’s bodies and desires. Like a trip to a new country, there’s a ton to see and do with a new partner. Everything about their body is new to you and yours to them. You’re learning what turns them on and vice versa. They don’t know what your body feels like yet and there’s a certain sensuality in watching them discover every part of it. All of the above experiences are likely very different from those you had with your last partner. It certainly keeps things interesting.
  4. Worst: The must-have conversations about protection, contraception methods and STD test frequency can take the ‘sex’ out of sexy. Of course, we still have to have these conversations, but they aren’t exactly starting anyone’s engine. This is especially true if the sex is spontaneous, and we haven’t had “The Talk” prior to getting hot and bothered. It definitely takes you both out of the moment. You can always jump back in, so please never skip it.
  5. Best: That weird sound he makes during an orgasm probably won’t annoy you… yet. When things are new and exciting, it’s much easier to ignore the quirks that might eventually get on your nerves. The passion is ripe, and although sex with someone who knows exactly what works can be amazing; honeymoon-phase sex is some of the best there is.
  6. Worst: You don’t know if you can trust him with your feelings or your life. Dramatic? Maybe a little. It’s fair to say you’ve done the due diligence on his rap sheet before jumping into bed with him. But as a woman, it’s always a risk to sleep with someone new. If you’re not physically hurt, there’s still the possibility for some emotional damage to be done. It’s a vulnerable place to be.
  7. Best: It’s a perfect opportunity to try out a fantasy (with consent, of course) or new position. We tend to fall into comfortable habits when we’re in a relationship. Someone new brings a freshness and an excitement to the escapade. Since there are no habits or usuals to fall back on, it’s the best time to try out that [insert costume/toy/position here] you’ve been putting on the back-burner.
  8. Worst: He might be a jerk or not know how to use his equipment. There’s a certain pressure on the first time with someone. You might be disappointed if he isn’t a good lay or feel self-conscious if it wasn’t your best work. There will probably be a bit of fumbling around, and uncoordinated pumping while you’re both finding the groove. He might sneak out of bed before you wake up, or want to cuddle with you when you’d rather tuck and roll. Awkward.
  9. Best: The post-coital high lasts longer with a new beau. Sex with an S.O. is often quickly forgotten. We go on with our day, or roll over and go to sleep. A romp with a new partner usually involves sexy cuddling, a higher endorphin spike, and excitement about the next time.
  10. Worst: Morning breath may leave little to the imagination. I woke up like this. And that’s not a brag. Everyone gets morning breath and bed head. Happens to the best of us. So own it or sneak off to the bathroom for a quick rinse and spruce. C’est la vie.