Beware, Ladies—Only A Clingy Guy Does These Things On A First Date

Good guys always want to complain about being looked over in the dating world, but what happens when you give that guy a chance and start to suspect he’s being a little too nice? Intuition is real, sis—don’t ignore these 15 subtle signs if you want to avoid a stifling situation on your hands.

  1. He gives you his exact address. I’m not talking general neighborhood or even block—I mean like literally down to the unit number complete. Unless you’re his Uber driver, there’s no legitimate reason this would come up naturally in conversation.
  2. He makes future plans to see you the next day, the next, and the next. If you just met, you’re on a date-by-date basis until further notice. This is an at-will situationship on a cautionary probation period that either party can terminate at any time. Space is healthy.
  3. He pushes you to cancel plans you had before meeting him to make time for him. Continuing to hang out if you two were free anyway may just be out of availability. However, if he asks you to ditch a prior arrangement now that your time would be better spent with him, beware.
  4. He leaves a personal item of his with you. OK, there’s definitely something coy and flirtatious when a woman pulls this trick, but that’s exactly what it is—a stunt. When you go out with a guy, you expect the courtesy of approving a second encounter. You don’t want this forced on you by being responsible for something that belongs to him.
  5. He signs himself up to help you with something you need. You might appreciate the gesture, but these are boyfriend responsibilities. It’s way too forward before having a title or even knowing if you’ll answer his call the next day or not.
  6. He asks if he can pick you up. You should never go on a first date without having an emergency call on deck. You need an escape route if things end up being a total flop. This is a guy who wants to possess you and your time and that is NOT good.
  7. He tells you it’s his birthday. I think it’s weird when a guy you just met didn’t have something set up for a significant day like that already. You are under no obligation to go all out for someone you were just screening for more chances to evaluate a potential future together.
  8. He’s too eager about liking all the same things you do. Having things in common is good, but there gets to be a point where hearing “me too” after everything you like starts becoming sketch. Is he even listening anymore or is he just trying to convince you that you’d be better off as besties than soulmates? Clicking should come naturally. It shouldn’t be forced.
  9. He talks too much about himself and doesn’t seem to notice you’re not getting a word in. If he thinks the date went well after this, you’re headed for a problem real fast. This is a guy who doesn’t understand boundaries. He’ll talk over you, through you, down to you, or just to you—any direction but in line with you.
  10. He inserts himself into your holiday plans far in advance. Major holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas are known for family gatherings. I’m sorry, but unless we have a title and have put some time in our relationship, you won’t be passing green bean casserole to my Aunt Shirley. He needs to keep that fantasy in his head until you two are seriously committed.
  11. He insists on following you to make sure you get home safe. Walking you to your car is top notch chivalry in my book, but assuming there is no imminent threat of danger involved, I’m not sure why he would go out of his way to trail behind your vehicle unless he’s just trying to find out where you live. Should you decide to ghost him after a lame night, you definitely don’t want to run the risk of him showing up in your driveway to ask you what he did wrong.
  12. He tries to start a full conversation with you after you get home from the date. If you haven’t already confirmed a second date before parting ways, there can be that awkward silent period after of wondering who is supposed to make the next move. After confirming you made it home safely and eliminating any fears of future rejection, it’s time for him to say goodnight and carry on. If he calls you and tries to start up an entire new conversation after the wrap-up, he might not be good at letting people go.
  13. You wake up to 65,000 text messages from him the next day. To be fair, this was done by a woman. But if you happen to meet her male counterpart, I suggest you call the police, FBI, Witness Protection Program, and possibly even the National Guard ASAP.
I’m Cara, not to be confused with Carrie, although you could say I’m a Millennial Bradshaw of sorts. Pop culture connoisseur. Lover of all things creative and passionate about health and personal well-being. Follow me on IG @cara_vale_writer