Beware Of Self-Proclaimed “Nice Guys” — They’re More Trouble Than You’d Think

If a guy has to tell you what a wonderful person he is, chances are he’s not actually that great. These so-called Nice Guys may like to go on and on about how they’d treat you like a queen or how women only fall for douchebags, but the truth is that Nice Guys are very different from good men, and you’ll always regret dating them.

  1. They’re only nice to you because they want to sleep with you. If you pay attention long enough, you’ll start to notice that Nice Guys are really only “nice” to attractive women. If it’s someone they aren’t interested in romantically, they won’t give her the time of day. You can be sure that once their attraction in your starts to wane, they’ll stop offering to do you favors or reaching out when they suspect you’re upset.
  2. They’ll disappear as soon as you start dating someone else. Even if you never become romantically or sexually involved with a Nice Guy, he’ll still be a crappy friend to you. Because Nice Guys only treat you well when they want to hook up with you, there’s a VERY good chance that once you start dating someone else, your Nice Guy friend will seem to evaporate into thin air. These guys aren’t your true friends, just as they aren’t truly good people.
  3. They’ll try to control you. Nice Guys are often more in love with the idea of you than the actual person you are, and when you don’t fit that mental image they have in their head, things can start to get ugly. They might start off as backhanded compliments, such as how you look better without makeup or how cute your hair was when it was shorter. But soon, they’ll devolve into full-on demands. The guy who swore he was just looking out for your well-being will freak out when you don’t text him regularly when you’re out with your friends, and he’ll call you a “easy” for wearing clothes that might attract attention from other men. Nice Guys are insecure, and those insecurities will always be forced onto you.
  4. They’ll trash talk every other guy in your life. Because Nice Guys always feel like the world is against them, they assume that every other man out there is competition in their quest to get laid or find love. Be prepared for them to call your other guy friends “douchebags” or heavily imply that they’re only friends with you because they want to have sex with you (ironic, right?). A Nice Guy doesn’t just want to be your boyfriend — he wants to be the ONLY boy in your life.
  5. They’ll judge you (even if they say they won’t). Guys who never shut up about how “nice” they are often base this upon the notion that they “won’t judge you for your past.” But you can bet that as soon as you do something that doesn’t coincide with the paint-by-number image these guys have of you, they’ll bring up everything they can to make you feel unworthy of their so-called love. Whether it’s how many guys you’ve slept with or the fact that you like to let loose and party every now and then, you can be sure that Nice Guys will find a way to use it as a way to make themselves feel like the white knight who’s coming to rescue the damsel who needs to get her life together.
  6. They’ll make their “niceness” their defining quality. Nice Guys think that women don’t want them because they’re nice, but more often than not, it’s because they have nothing else to offer aside from being “nice.” You’ll eventually get bored and frustrated with them, not because they’re good people, but because the only thing they have to bring to the relationship is going over the top with gestures that most decent people don’t even think twice about doing. And then when things start to go wrong…
  7. You’ll always be the bad guy. If you ever talk to a Nice Guy long enough, you’re bound to hear about how all of his exes were “crazy” or how nobody understands or appreciates him. If it seems a little weird, there’s a good reason for it. Nice Guys will always find a way to shift the blame to protect their own self-image. It may seem like this guy is being great to you now, but as soon as an argument happens, be prepared to be put on a guilt trip… and be prepared to be portrayed as another “crazy” ex when you two finally break up.
  8. They’ll never be able to see their own faults. You can’t give a Nice Guy constructive criticism. These guys spend their lives in denial, convinced that the reason women don’t want to date them is because girls only go after “jerks.” They’ll never realize that it’s their thinly veiled misogyny or whiny Facebook posts that truly turn women off, and if you date them, they’ll never admit to you or themselves that they might be the reason for problems in your relationship. If you believe that communication can solve most problems in relationships, you have a long road ahead of you with a Nice Guy.
  9. Their words will be empty. Many Nice Guys seem to believe that proclaiming their Niceness is all they need to do to convince the world of how Nice they are. As a result, they think that words are all they’ll ever need to make you happy. At first, you may enjoy the things they say, but after a while, all those “I love yous” and “You’re beautiful”s will start to feel worthless when they do nothing to prove how they feel.
  10. They’ll smother you. Nice Guys are often extremely jealous and are fixated on the idea that they have to dote on you 24/7 in order to show you how much they care about you. This combination is a recipe for disaster, and you’ll start to notice it when this dude seriously never leaves you alone. Not only does he think that constant attention is the perfect way to prove his love, but he also thinks that by constantly being in communication with him, you won’t have the chance to flirt with or hook up with other guys.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.