A year and a half ago, one of my best friends swiped right and ended up in a serious relationship. He’s cute, sweet, funny… and from Rome. After a super long-distance relationship that spanned continents, they just moved in together in Toronto and it’s been pretty eye-opening. Here’s what my BFF’s long-distance relationship taught me about love.
- There’s zero rush. Sure, my friend could have gone back on Tinder and found someone else. Instead, she decided to wait… and wait… and wait. Her patience was rewarded, which just proves that there’s honestly no rush when it comes to love. It’s going to happen when it happens and you can’t change that.
- Absence really does make the heart go fonder. More than half of my friend’s relationship was long-distance rather than in person. That taught me that when you can’t be around the person that you love — when pizza and movie nights are totally of out the question, when Skype calls replace actual dates — you really do start to love them even more. When my friend realized what she had, she fell even harder.
- Love is filled with uncertainty. You honestly never know how your own love story is going to turn out. My friend had zero clue if her boyfriend’s visa would be accepted and if he would be allowed to come back here. She stayed with him and took a leap of faith, which is all you can really do sometimes. Even if your BF is in the same place as you, that doesn’t mean your relationship is super smooth. There are peaks and valleys in everything, especially love, and you have to go all in without worrying about a negative outcome.
- Communication is key. What really impressed me about this guy is that even though he was so far away and there was an understandable time difference, he made time for my friend. He texted all the time, Facebook messaged and made sure they Skyped on a daily basis. Ah, modern romance.
- You don’t have tons of options. Sure, there are lots of fish in the sea as they say, but you won’t love most of them… or even like them. When my friend really thought about it, she knew she had to give this guy a real chance because she had dated such losers and experienced such heartbreak.
- It’s not a big deal. At the end of the day, spending some time apart from the person you love isn’t the biggest deal. It sucks, but if you wind up together, you’re just going to be stronger. Long-distance shouldn’t a dealbreaker like cheating. If you really get along and care about each other, you can survive it.
- You have to try. Love without effort is pretty lame. You can maintain a strong and healthy relationship and you don’t even have to live in the same city, as long as you both put in the necessary effort.
- There has to be an end point. Long-distance is okay for a certain period of time, but if there’s no end goal in mind, you have to think about whether it’s truly worth it. You can only take so much. Thankfully for my friend, things worked out… and now she’s sharing a tiny one bedroom apartment with her true love and loving every minute of it.