My BFF Tried To Ruin My Wedding

My BFF and I were friends for over a decade, and while we went through our share of ups and downs, we always got through it. That’s why I was totally blindsided when she tried to ruin my wedding experience.

1. I knew she was a selfish person. She’s the type of person that wants the attention on her all the time, no matter what. I didn’t mind that everything was always about her because it never affected me directly and I didn’t care about getting attention myself. She showed interest in my life and was fun to be around so it just wasn’t a huge issue for the ten plus years we were friends.
2. She seemed excited for me when I got engaged. She appeared to be extremely happy for me when I told her my boyfriend had proposed, just as a best friend should be. She told me she couldn’t wait to be my matron-of-honor and help with the wedding planning. I hadn’t officially asked her yet, but I let it go because I assumed she was just really excited.
3. She started causing problems as soon as I told her I booked a wedding date. When I scheduled the wedding date without consulting her first, she had a strange response. She told me she planned to go on vacation that week and asked if I could change the date (it was still a year away). I was so confused because she didn’t mention it before even though she knew I wanted to have the wedding around that time. I figured she was upset because she wasn’t getting all of the attention. I even asked her about it, but she insisted she just had her heart set on a vacation that week and that was the only reason. We eventually worked it out, but I was still baffled.
4. She made the other bridesmaids’ lives a living hell. The problems didn’t end there. She wouldn’t work with the other bridesmaids on any of the planning and was constantly fighting with them. She wanted to do everything her way and wanted to be the one to make the final decisions because she said it was her right as matron-of-honor. All I wanted was for the planning to be fun, and she was totally ruining the experience for me and the other bridesmaids.
5. She fought me every step of the way. For example, when we picked out the bridesmaid dresses, she complained about how it looked on her even though I did my best to choose a flattering style. She eventually agreed, but after we ordered the dresses, she called me to say she couldn’t afford it. It wasn’t a dress that broke the bank at all and it was complete BS because I knew she had plenty of money, but I helped her and the other bridesmaids pay for their dresses anyway (to be fair to the other girls) because I wanted to avoid more drama.
6. She eventually said she didn’t want to be in the bridal party anymore and then got mad when I didn’t beg her to come back. While planning the bridal shower, the fighting with the other bridesmaids finally reached a boiling point. She called me crying saying that she couldn’t get along with them and she didn’t want to be in the wedding anymore. I asked if she was sure about her decision. She said yes, and I thought that was the end of it. I was relieved that the problems would hopefully be over. However, she sent me a text later saying that she couldn’t believe I didn’t beg her to stay. Really?
7. After all that, she didn’t even come to the wedding when I invited her. We didn’t speak for a while after she backed out. I chose my other very close friend to be my maid of honor and things went great after that. I was finally enjoying the process. Even though we hadn’t resolved anything, I invited her to the wedding anyway. I was hoping she would still attend because we had been friends for so long. I was willing to try to get past it, especially if she could get over herself and come to the wedding. It would’ve shown me that she still wanted to be there for me, but she didn’t go. It’s been five years and I haven’t spoken to her since.
8. She probably tells everyone I was a Bridezilla. I hear about her from time to time through mutual friends, and she’s told a few people that it was my fault. I’m guessing she tells everyone that I was the one being selfish, but I know the truth. The fact that she can’t even admit she did anything wrong just reinforces that I made the right decision by parting ways with her.
9. I’m glad I found out then that she wasn’t a true friend. I do miss the good parts of our friendship, and sometimes it feels like I lost a sister because we were friends for so long. But she clearly wasn’t a real friend if she did that to me, so I’m glad she showed me her true colors. I’m sad that things happened that way, but there’s no way I could ever trust her again after what happened. I guess getting married really is one of those situations where you find out who your true friends are.